


Skies of Desire - Cieli delle Passioni

by Eliza_Shakecake



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: #frozenissues, #icetrouble, Hibari doesn't want to be a cow, Junjo Romantica Style, M/M, Slow Burn, Tsuna and the beautiful Beast, Xanxus speak dirty I mean Italian to us, and I ain't talking about Xanxus' slowly burning off fuse, from enemies to friends to lovers, no one...like Squalo, one pairing name for Squalo and Yamamoto should be 'rainy season', that thing where it kinda started as a crack pairing and then you end up shipping it hard, the issues of actually being 16 but also kind of 24
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliza_Shakecake/pseuds/Eliza_Shakecake
Summary: Tsuna has to marry Xanxus - and everybody seems okay with it ?!The Arcs, but Tsuna and Xanxus are a couple. (and Squalo and Yamamoto; and Dino and Hibari)
Relationships: 327, D18, Dino/Hibari Kyouya, Sawada Tsunayoshi/Xanxus, SquaYama, Superbi Squalo/Yamamoto Takeshi, X27 - Relationship, YamaSqua, rainy season - Relationship
Comments: 23
Kudos: 57





	1. Uno Ichika

Tsuna had no idea how it had happened. One morning he was quickly woken up by Reborn (nothing new), rushed somewhere else (also nothing new) and all of his friends and family suddenly were there, too (still not new). It had started to get weird, when he was pushed into a room with Bianchi, who stuffed him into a white dress and put a veil over his face.

_Wait, wha-_

Before he could even ask, she had pushed him out of the room again, someone was putting flowers into his hands, he vaguely remembered someone hurrying him along a long aisle with red carpet and many faces watching him. And then suddenly there was only one face in front of him: Xanxus'.

_XANXUS ?!_

Also, to his right was Reborn, who again was in a disguise NO ONE saw through. This time he looked like a priest. He read something aloud out of a book that could have been Italian, but also English, it all sounded equally strange to Tsuna. The only words he got was 'Vongola', 'Decimo' and their names.

_WHAT is going on ?_

That was when Reborn stopped reading and said to kiss the bride. That was also when Xanxus had given him a look so hateful, Tsuna could have sworn his eyes had turned into black, burning coals.

_WHAT DID I DO ?!?_

And THAT was also when Xanxus had lifted the veil, his face coming to Tsuna's-

_WHAAAAAAAA-_

-and Tsuna quickly felt something against his lips, then Xanxus rushed aside past the storm of guests wanting to wish Tsuna their best.

His mother was dapping her eyes with a tissue, beaming at him.

“You look just like your father on his wedding day !“

_WHAT ?!_

“Dad wore a dress ?“

“Of course not, dear,“ His mother waved with an amused expression, “don't be silly.“

_MUM ! Why ??! What-_

Next came Gokudera. Very formally and respectfully he bowed and offered his present.

“Congratulations, Tenth !“

_Why are you-_

Before Tsuna could do more than take the present, Ryohei barged in, shaking his hand so violently, he almost dropped Gokudera's present. Ryohei left, and now two parcels in his arms, Tsuna stood face to face with Hibari.

_What the- Please don't bite me to death !_

The other one nodded. “Good thing you didn't bring this crowd to Namimori Middle.“ Before Hibari could turn, Dino patted him on the back.

“Hibari, honestly, didn't anyone teach you not to threaten people on their wedding day ?“ The blond one laughed heartily, while the looks of the black haired one aimed to kill him. Hibari turned and left, Dino shook Tsuna's hand.

“I guess now that you are married you are more mature then me, huh ?“ Laughing, the Italian walked away.

Haru and Kyoko now rushed in front of Tsuna, both crying.

“You look so beautiful !“

“Haru will never be a more beautiful bride than you !“

_What, 'bride' ?!_

Before Tsuna could even start saying their names, they took the presents from him, took them to a table, then gazed at him as if he were a painting. Yamamoto went in between, pulling him into a hug.

“Home run, Tsuna !“ The other one laughed.

_What are you talking about ?! I don't get anything at all !_

Fuuta came to stand by their side, saying, “Of all Mafia weddings, yours ranks number one !“

“Way to go, Tenth !“ Gokudera cheered from afar.

“Looks like you are no longer No-Good Tsuna !“ Yamamoto laughed, then stepped aside for Bianchi. She held something barely edible.

“Don't forget to cut the cake, you two.“

_Cut the cake ?!_

Tsuna knew better, yet still his eyes went to look for Xanxus. Even the short glance he shot him would have been enough to cut through any layers of cake.

“....maybe later...“ Tsuna grimaced with a fake laugh.

Reborn immediately hit him on the head.

“Tsuna ! This is your wedding day, stop laughing so meekly !“

While Tsuna was apologizing, he noticed his father stepping up to Xanxus. He had a bad feeling.

“Oi, Xanxus.“

The leader of Varia turned to the man. Iemitsu held his gaze. “Please take good care of my son.“

Tsuna stopped breathing for a moment.

_THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING !_

Then Xanxus nodded, they shook hands and turned away from each other.

_Talk about anti-climactic ! This didn't even make any sense !_

The table filled more and more with presents and Haru and Kyoko did their best to both arrange them neatly and make sure nothing got squished.

The Ninth approached him to wish him well. But it was too quickly for Tsuna to gather his wits and ask something, then the Ninth actually went over to Xanxus. Again, Tsuna held his breath. They talked in a foreign language that was probably Italian. After a moment of silence, the Ninth actually _hugged_ Xanxus !

“Ha-ha, Tsuna is wearing a dress !“ Lambo pointed at him, his hand and face full of cake. Tsuna worried for a moment, then saw that it wasn't Bianchi's.

“Lambo not nice !“ I-Pin scolded the cow boy, then turned to Tsuna with a smile. “Very beautiful bride !“

Behind I-Pin, Tsuna saw the other, edible, cake. And Ken, Chikusa, and Chrome. Ken's face was in the top layer, also eating a part of the miniature Xanxus that stood next to Tsuna on top of the cake. “Congratulations, Boss.“ Chrome handed him her present with big eyes, then suddenly turned into Mukuro, who only winked at him, before turning back into Chrome.

Chrome's gang was rudely chased away from the cake by the remaining members of Varia.

“VOI ! Nobody get's to eat our boss but us !“

“Boss !“ Levi tried to save what was left of the fondant Xanxus.

More guests and presents kept coming, then at some point they were all called to sit down to eat and Tsuna found himself sitting at the center table with Xanxus.

_I would be safer in a volcano !_

Some people were saying something for a toast.

_This is all just a nightmare ! I will wake up any time ! This is all just a nightmare ! I will wake-_

Eventually the wedding was over.

Next thing he knew, they were in a car.

_HUH ?!_

While they drove, he tried his best to sit as close to the door and as far away from Xanxus as possible, something that had been a lot easier at a table.

Eventually they arrived at a big mansion surrounded by trees.

Reborn pulled Tsuna out of the car and pushed him through the doors of the mansion, while shouting „Enjoy your honeymoon !“. He shut the doors behind them loudly. The sound seemed to echo on in the entrance hall for a long time. It made the present situation sink in.

Xanxus shot Tsuna one glance, then stormed off somewhere into the depths of the mansion.

For a long time, Tsuna had only stood cluelessly at the front door.

_This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real._

Then he noticed how tired he was. He started walking. He remembered that he had no idea where his room was. IF he had a room, even. Cold shot through him at the thought that he had to share a room with Xanxus.

_He will kill me ! There is no way I will survive this night !_

After a moment of panic, he considered the size of the mansion again and simply hoped that with these many rooms they would have more than one bedroom. He also hoped that he wouldn't meet Xanxus on his way there. The more he walked, the more he wished for pants. He was really getting tired of having to lift the long dress. Eventually, he opened a door at random, hoping it was both Xanxus-free and with a bed. It was a bathroom. Of course. Three doors later, he stumbled into something that might be a living room and crashed onto the couch, immediately falling asleep.

_He was in a room full of his friends and family. He was in a tuxedo. In front of him was Kyoko in a white wedding dress. Between them Reborn was reading something from a book. In the distance he saw Lambo stuffing Xanxus' face with cake. Then he exchanged rings with Kyoko. They were married. He lifted her veil and.._

Blinking, Tsuna awoke, shielding his face from the morning sun. The first things he saw was an unfamiliar room..and a wedding dress. He blinked again, thinking. Was Kyoko sitting next to him ? Sleepily, he turned his head first to the left, then to the right. No Kyoko. But where did the dress come from then ? His face got warmer at the thought that she had left the dress with him. But why would she do that ? And what would she be wearing instead ?? Tsuna got up to look for her, then his legs got tangled in the fabric of the dress and he fell over. One hand held his head, the other held a part of the dress. Then the realization hit him. HE was wearing the dress ! But wait, why-

Memories of yesterday came to his mind.

A scream echoed through the whole mansion. Outside a few birds flew away.

_NO NO NO NO NO ! That can't be happening !_

Half stumbling, half limping, he bolted out of the room and had meant to dash across the hallway, before he stumbled again and fell face first to the floor.

His face hurt. The whole front of his body hurt. For some reason also the side of his head hurt. And the pain returned and got worse every time.

_What ?_

Raising his head, Tsuna saw Reborn, who was in the middle of kicking his head again.

“Ciaossu.“

“Reborn !“

“I see you are still No-Good Tsuna, even after your wedding.“

“Reborn, that has to be a joke, I-“

“You're the joke, Tsuna. You are still in the same dress from yesterday, you haven't even slept in a bed, let alone the same as your husband. You're not only No-Good Tsuna now, you're also a No-Good Bride.“

“Reborn, you have to help me !“

“In becoming a better bride ?“ He kicked him again. „Have you forgotten that I'm a _hitman_ tutor ? Now you better walk off and find your husband !“ With that the Arcobaleno send him off with a kick in the butt.

Xanxus hated that Sawada brat. Hated him especially on this day; this day the others so grotesquely had referred to as 'his wedding day'. As if he had wanted to marry that kid ! And what kind of sick joke was it to put him in a wedding dress ?! Probably that twisted Arcobaleno's idea. Fucking gem of a joke, marrying a little boy in a dress. What a fucker.

Xanxus ran his hand through his hair. What the fuck is this shit ?!

He didn't even care or notice where he walked, he was too angry to _think_.

His fist shot out and torched the left side of the hallway, before he tore open the closest door and started tearing the room apart. Grabbing a chair, he threw it against the wall while a scream of rage burst out of his chest.

_That BRAT !_

_His stupid FATHER !_

_FUCK the whole fucking WORLD !_

The bed went up in flames, but Xanxus didn't even step away from it and instead started punching a table with his bare fists.

_HALF- a- ring !_

He thought, a fist colliding with wood at each word.

_HALF- A- FUCKING- RING !_

His fist struck the fatal blow and the table collapsed. He went on to the other tables, the wall, he didn't care. Bits of wood and wall hit his face, but all he saw was the mockery – _half_ a mockery ! \- gleaming on his finger. Letting out a frustrated howl, he pulled on the ring with his other hand, then almost fell to the ground.

He _felt_ it, definitely felt it. The Sky Vongola ring, half as it may be, had granted him the power of Vongola this time.

With another howl, his fist hit the floor, making the wood under his feet crack.

As if he were only good enough to be anything tied to the fucking brat ! A fucking kid, not even Italian, was his reason for existing ? Was the reason he was deemed _WORTHY_ ?!??!

_FUUUUCK !_

A ball of flame hit the wall.

_FUCK. THIS. FUCKING. SHIT. !_

“I am XANXUS, DAMMIT !!!“

A torrent of flames made one part of the wall collapse and through the rubble, Xanxus broke into the next room, immediately torpedoing everything in sight. What wasn't burning, got crushed under his heels.

Two rooms later, he left the bed intact and threw himself on it.

Thinking what a fucked up day it had been, he drifted off.

Sun hit Xanxus' face and made him wake up. Confused, he raised a hand to shield himself. He noticed something gleam on his finger. Sitting up, he tried to figure out his surroundings. His eyes wandered back to his hand. Half the Sky Ring of Vongola.

The patch where his hand lay on the bed started to smell burned.

“This shit can't be real..“ He muttered; then jumped up, took hold of the first thing he happened to reach and threw that, a third of a chair, out of the window.

“CAN'T-BE-REAL !“ He roared into the morning air.

A second flock of birds followed after one already in the air.

Breathing heavily, Xanxus stood there for a moment. His eyes fell on the garden landscape outside

No, this room would not suffice. Not the room next to it either. He was too angry for a simple room. Blasting away the rest of the glass, he stepped on the balcony, and took off almost in the same moment that he got out his guns. Reaching the first row of trees, he hit the biggest one square in the trunk, watching with some satisfaction as it splintered against the surrounding trees. But not enough. Alternatively, he shot huge balls of fire from each gun, the thunder of the explosion competing with the rage in his lungs and in his heart.

Tsuna was still rubbing his head while he walked down the hallway.

“You told me to find Xanxus, Reborn. But what if I don't wanna find him, hm ?“ Tsuna asked himself aloud. Then the sound of an explosion nearly made him run into the next wall.

_What the-_

_Are we under attack ??!_

_But who ?! And WHY ?! I didn't even want to get married !_

Another explosion had Tsuna on his feet, trying to find the source; even if it only meant to be able to run the other way eventually. This time, he remembered clutching the dress high enough.

After running for what felt like miles, he found himself on a huge terrace bordering an even bigger garden. And right in the middle of the garden, hovering over a small forest of trees, was Xanxus, guns out and glowing.

Tsuna tried his best to spot anything beside him. How many enemies were there and where were they ? He held his hands over his eyes to see against the sun.

_And where is Reborn ?? Is he fighting them, too ?_

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow. He turned. It was Xanxus, flying towards him.

They must have scared the intruders off, I'm so glad !

If his feet hadn't had acted on their own, the sudden ball of flame would have hit him.

Confused, Tsuna looked around.

Is somebody behind me ?

When he looked into Xanxus' face for answers, he got one that was soul-crushingly clear. The hate in the other's face, the gun pointed straight at him: He, Tsuna, was the enemy !

Screaming on the top of his lungs, Tsuna turned on his heels and ran away, holding the dress as high up as possible and not even caring who saw his underwear.

“To think I lost to _YOU_ !“ Tsuna heard him yell from above. He could feel the target mark on the back of his head.

_This must be a nightmare ! First I marry Xanxus and then he kills me, this HAS to be nightmare !_

Salvo after fiery salvo made him run in a zigzag.

_To think I will never see my friends again ! My mom, dad, Kyoko, Reborn-_

A tiny foot made him trip and fall face first on the floor for the second time of the day. Tsuna looked up.

“Reborn !“

The Arcobaleno was watching the space above his head.

“If you kill Tsuna, then your bride is dead.“ Reborn told Xanxus in a warning voice. “A dead bride means no deal.“ Reborn turned to Tsuna. “And Tsuna. You have no reason to be crouching on the ground. You defeated Xanxus once before. Stop being No-Good.“

Xanxus let out a growl at the comment, his hands twitching. Reborn's head snapped back to him.

“If you kill Tsuna, your reign as Vongola Tenth is null and void.“

“I don't care ! I will find other ways !“

“Xanxus, think about it. Isn't it much easier to keep your position by letting him breathe ? It's much less effort.“

_What kind of messed up way to defend my life is that, Reborn ?!_

Xanxus looked at the Arcobaleno, then away, his nostril flaring, before he let out a scream. He turned back to Reborn.

“Fine..“ He growled in a low voice, then bolted away.

Reborn stood at the window, looking out.

“They are hopeless, both of them.“

The one addressed, an elderly man on a sofa, seemed to be pondering his words for a while. Then Vongola the Ninth chuckled.

“Give them time. It's been a while since we'd had an arranged wedding. Such arrangments often have a tendency to be... _complicated_. Especially when one of the participants happens to be my hot-head of a son.“

“Or my air-head of a student.“

The Ninth laughed again.

“Give them time, Reborn.“

“There is also the matter of cost, Ninth.“

The Ninth sighed, but not in an air of frustration; more with an air that came with age and looking back at youth.

“I heard about the destroyed rooms. With Xanxus, it might even end up a whole wing. And we definitely need to replace those trees. But you and I both know Vongola weddings are costly and this is also my son's wedding we are talking about..“

There was a knock on the door, then a man's voice coming from the other side. “Sir, your plane is ready !“

Reborn nodded toward his boss. “Have a good flight, sir.“

“I will, Reborn, thank you.“ After taking one step, he turned once more to the Arcobaleno.

“Oh, and Reborn ? Try not to kill them.“


	2. Due Nika

After Reborn had saved him, he had also brought him back to his room. Not that it was the one that he had slept in, but that didn't really matter that much now. Tsuna was simply glad to be alive and as far away from Xanxus as possible.

_ I can't believe Reborn just left to go god-knows-where ! _

He wanted to collapse on the bed. His nerves and knees were more than ready for it. But at the same time, he couldn't sit still. He needed to get away. Now. There was no way he would stay here any longer ! And why should he ? The whole thing was a weird prank Reborn or somebody else pulled, anyway. 

Tsuna kept looking around the room. He felt like getting out a suitcase and packing; then remembered that he did not arrive with anything. _Even better, that saves time_. First, he needed to find a way out of the mansion, then back to civilization and then to his family. He had no money on him and no idea where he was, but maybe, somehow, he would eventually find them !

Tsuna set one foot out of the door. Immediately he pulled it back in. What if Xanxus was just waiting for this moment ?! Paranoid, he stuck his head out, left and right. Nothing. Phew.

Once more, he took a step outside. A sudden noise made him freeze. Looking down, he heard his stomach growl like crazy.

”Man, am I hungry !“ He didn't even remember the last time he had eaten.

_ I couldn't take any bite yesterday, that's for sure ! Too bad I don't know where the kitchen is. _

He stood in the open door, wondering if he should look for a kitchen before he headed out, when he heard steps. Wide-eyed, he dashed back into the room and shut the door. The fire balls and shouting he had expected never came, instead he heard a knock and an unfamiliar, but polite voice calling his name.

”Tsunayoshi-sama, your food is ready.“

_ HUH ??! _

Baffled, but also cautious, Tsuna crept to the door. Opening it a tiny bit, he looked outside.

And sure enough there was a woman with a tray full of food !

_ It's a miracle ! _

”May I come in ?“

The food was set before him and Tsuna started digging in, not even wondering who the person was and why anyone would bring him food.

”Pfat a cfoinfidenf !“ Tsuna told the woman with a very grateful look and very stuffed mouth.

”We heard your request through the speaker.“

Tsuna stopped stuffing his face with more meat buns. ”The speaker ?“

The woman pointed to something not bigger than a coin next to the door frame.

”Every room has one, so please feel free to contact us anywhere, anytime.“

”Uhh, thank you.“

”We also brought you a variety of food as we could not tell whether you would prefer food from your home country or that of your husband's.“

At the last word, Tsuna nearly choked on his soba noodles. 

”Are they not to your liking ?“ The woman asked him, concerned.

_ It's rather having a husband that's not to my liking.... _

”No, no, they are delicious, thank you !“

She bowed. ”Then I am glad and will be on my way to let you eat in peace, _Decimo_.“

When she left, Tsuna stopped eating. She had reminded him of his original plan again. The food had been much needed and nice, though. Taking one last onigiri, Tsuna stood up. He would tell Xanxus that he couldn't stay married to him, that they weren't even married in the first place. The only person he wanted to marry was Kyoko-chan !

_ How messed up is it to confess your feelings for a girl to the guy who wants to see you dead first ?! _

After telling Xanxus and clearing up this weird misunderstanding, he would leave this place and go look for his family.

He took a step, and nearly fell over again.

_ I really need to get out of this dress ! _

There was probably no way for him to talk to Xanxus without getting chased and nearly killed and the faster he would be able to run, the better. 

_ But I didn't bring any clothes with me ! _

Tsuna walked over to a random drawer

_ It's not like they would just put my clothes in these drawers, expecting me to look for them there... _

Opening the drawer, he found his clothes.

_ YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME... _

Happier than ever to see a pair of jeans, Tsuna changed out of the dress. Now he was ready to run.

First, he looked into the room next to him. No Xanxus. Then he checked his hallway. Nothing. He never would have thought that finding Xanxus would be harder than avoiding him. After covering what felt like the whole house, he passed by the big room leading to the even bigger terrace again. Following a whim, he went outside. Sure enough, Xanxus was there, firing at the trees again.

Tsuna gulped. It had been easier imagining what to do than actually consider going through with it. Carefully, he approached the brink of the terrace. He was really glad for the huge vases almost double his size to hide him for a bit. Xanxus seemed as angry as the last time he had seen him. He only too clearly remembered how that almost turned out ! He gulped. Going out there, talking to him was definitely not a good idea. But he kind of had to...

Xanxus tore through air and vegetation, fire exploding just shortly behind him. His guns kept firing nonstop. Tsuna wondered if he actually saw where he was aiming. The other one flew below the trees again, but Tsuna had a vague idea where he was, based on the trail of explosions. Suddenly, Xanxus emerged at the outskirts of the trees. He shot at the top of the tree, then flitted to the next one, leaving marks in the bark. Xanxus fell back and torpedoed the first tree again. Even from where he was standing far away, Tsuna could see one of the biggest branches about to collapse.

_ He knows it's gonna fall on his head any second, right ? He must see that huge branch, surely ?! _

But Xanxus kept firing and switching between trees, only helping to make the branch crack.

_ Who knows, maybe he won't even be under the tree when it falls down ? _

But of course Xanxus was exactly under this one tree when the branch decided to crash down.

”LOOK OUT !“ Tsuna cried out before thinking about the consequences.

Xanxus looked around in confusion, noticed the falling menace and dodged it.

_ Good, he made it ! _

However, Tsuna was glad for only a moment, when he saw that Xanxus was staring at him from the distance.

_ I'm doomed. I just killed myself. _

He was so scared, he even forgot to run. All he could do was swallow down his fear and watch how Xanxus flew towards him. Time seemed to stretch ridiculously long as he saw the other one land and walk up to him. The closer Xanxus came, the more Tsuna wondered how he would die. Dying Will gun shot ? Normal gun shot ? Strangulation ?

Eventually, Xanxus stood right in front of him. Tsuna gulped for the thousandth time. The other one's face was impossible to read, like a stone wall. He stared at him for what felt like an eternity to Tsuna, mimic unchanged. Then, he nodded and went back to burning the trees.

Tsuna blinked.

_ I'm still alive ? _

That evening, Xanxus raided the kitchen and took all the liquor he could find and some extra bottles of wine to his room. His room in this case, being the one he had stayed in the night before and had decided to return to. Crushing the remains of a chair as he walked to his bed, he sat the bottles down. Picking out a Grappa, he made himself comfortable on the bed. He drank it straight from the bottle, his eyes roaming over his realm of destruction and at the same time nothing at all. After a couple of swigs, he went through the selection. There was Sambuca and even a bottle of Alchermes.

_ Probably from the home land... _

He took another round of gulps.

_ Back home, he should get a bottle of it.  _

He stared at the wall.

_ He had always drunk it anyway, even before being legal. He might miss the funny looks, now that he was over 18...no..wait..he was 16...no, that wasn't it..24 ? _

With a growl, he took fast gulps from the bottle before smashing it against the wall. He grabbed a bottle of wine next, tore on the cork with his teeth and nearly halved it in one swig.

_ He couldn't even get drunk in peace....Father of the fucking year...no, let's make it a  _ decade _, because why not, let's freeze Xanxus for a decade ! A fucking decade !_

The wine bottle hit the floor.

_ Just what had his father thought ? _

_ Sure, he had disposed of some unworthy trash and yeah, he had tried to take over, but...come on ! 'tis the Vongola way ! _

He grabbed another bottle at random and only when the liquid ran down his throat did the back of his mind register it as Sambuca.

_ And now..now he had  _ hugged  _him ! In front of everybody ! What had that been about ?_

Images from the wedding mixed with the days prior.

_ Oh, he was so high and mighty, bringing him this great offer to become Decimo.. _

”..fucking boy in a dress..“ He mumbled. His eyes scanned the room for something to tear apart, then his hands grabbed a pillow.

”They tear so easily...why won't he ?“ He let it fall unheeded.

_ The funny thing is...he wouldn't even be so bad...if it wasn't for the dress....or the face...or the whining..or  _ everything else _.._

His own joke made him chuckle. He leaned back and for a while just stared at the ceiling. Reaching for it blindly, he found the bottle of Alchermes by luck. He had also found himself a knife and was stabbing a pillow lazily to the speed of his thoughts.

_ Fucking Sawada, fucking Nono, fucking everyone... _

A chuckle burst out of his mouth.

_ How surprised Sawada had looked when he finally had realized he was about to be killed. _

”Fucking idiot..“

_ And just this morning he had almost wet his pants only because he had approached him. _

A wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

_ So what if Sawada had helped him out with that branch....but....why hadn't he used that chance ? _

Xanxus sighed deeply. ”Fucking idiot..“ He muttered again.

He could not tell how much time had passed while he was staring into space; the pillow looked pretty bad, though. Xanxus threw it away and grabbed another bottle. He was about to open it, when he saw it was sake. It was simply too Japanese right now and he threw it against the wall. He did get even angrier, when it turned out to be the last bottle of liquor. This night he dreamed of trees and fire and when he awoke in the morning he forgot that he had ever had dreams because his skull was split too far open to have any memory or any brain left.

Tsuna had not stayed on the terrace after his unexpected survival. He had ordered himself some omurice to calm his nerves and hidden in the most distant room he could find. Then he had wondered about what to do. 

_ I kind of tried to talk to Xanxus, that counts right ? I can go now, right ? _

He actually found his way back to the entrance hall. His heart was beating faster as the doors to freedom came closer.

_ Kyoko-chan, I'm coming ! _

He threw open the doors and-

”Tsuna ! What are you doing, walking around here ?” Reborn demanded to know, blocking his way.

“You should spend more time with your husband ! You still don't sleep in the same bed, or even in the same room! The only thing you managed so far was finally getting out of that dress, putting some new clothes on, and from the way your face is all dirty, eating something !“

”Reborn ! He's not my husband ! Also, he's dangerous ! I'm not safe around him-“

But Reborn just kicked him back inside.

“Nonsense ! You are married now, figure something out !”

The doors shut with a bang, while Tsuna lay in a heap on the floor.

_ Great, and now what ? _

There was no one to talk to (except Xanxus) and with the exception of the woman who brought his food he had also seen no one else (except Xanxus). Reborn didn't count, he only talked to him when he saw fit. Tsuna even looked for books (they all looked complicated and one was _Genji no Monogateri_ ). He felt like toying with fate, with his life, by walking in the direction of the terrace. But then again, if he knew exactly where Xanxus was and what he was up to, would that not be safer than being surprised by him somewhere else ? As silently as he could, he snuck back out on the terrace, staying much further away than last time. This time, he was also hiding behind not one, but two of those giant vases, good luck finding him now !

_ Never mind that Xanxus is flying and can see me from above, but maybe he won't see me somehow, ahaha.. _

If Xanxus had seen or heard anything of him, he at least wasn't showing it. Like before, he was shooting at the trees with his guns; sometimes directly, sometimes after zooming over them for a bit.

When he got hungry, Tsuna would quietly sneak back inside, get some snacks and then come out again. This way the time passed surprisingly quickly. When the sun was about to set, Tsuna yawned.

_ Doesn't he ever eat or sleep ? _

Just then Xanxus flew over his head and landed close to the doors. Tsuna tried his best to make himself smaller, but the other one paid him no attention as he walked inside.

When Tsuna awoke the next day, his first idea was to go to the terrace again. To his surprise, Xanxus was nowhere to be seen or heard.

_ But there were no explosions in the hallway.. _

An idea hit him.

_ Don't tell me he found a way out and left this place ?! And if he did, he could have told me ! _

While Tsuna was scheming what kind of elaborate escape plan Xanxus could have used (it involved ninjas and tear gas), Xanxus walked out onto the terrace. Tsuna had to look twice. First, because he had been so deep in thought that Xanxus actually appearing before his eyes caught him by surprise. Also, Xanxus looked like _he_ had been hit by tear gas, not the people he had thwarted in his fictional escape. And ninjas. All of the ninjas had walked over his face. Forwards _and_ backwards. He looked _terrible_.

Tsuna gulped. Did he want to kill him so badly that it was transforming his face ?!

But Xanxus didn't even try to spot him. He went directly for the garden, kicked a tree trunk, then held his head. Then he got out his gun and shot the tree trunk. He held his head again.

_ Maybe he has tried to escape and it has backfired ? That must be it, it comes from breathing in all that tear gas ! _

Even though Tsuna did want to know what had happened, he still spent the whole day not talking to Xanxus, simply content to stay alive and watch him. The other one still held his head now and then.

This evening, Xanxus only took wine bottles out of the kitchen. As a further measure of caution, he also took a glass with him. Back on his bed, he poured a bit of wine into the glass; however, it didn't take long before he went back to pouring it straight into himself.

Putting away the glass he wasn't really using anyway, his eyes fell on the suit jacket he had taken off during practice outside. It was the one they had put him in for his we-...that day. He raised one hand and was about to burn it, when he stopped.

_ It wasn't really the suit jacket's fault, now was it ? A good suit jacket can't be blamed for the occasion. _

He took a swig out of the wine bottle, then leaned back and held his hand up. The Sky ring gleamed as bright as ever.

_ Marry one, get two halves...what a deal,  _ padre _..._

He quickly downed the first bottle. His eyes fell back on the suit jacket.

_ At least they chose a decent one. _

A frown appeared on his face.

_ But  _ WHY _did they put him in a dress ? Fucking eyesore..._

”..didn't even have hair on his chest yet..“

Xanxus spent the first half of the next bottle wondering if Japanese men had any chest hair at all. 

”Wha'ever !“ He announced, then emptied the rest of the bottle.

He forgot where he had put the knife last night, but wasn't in the mood to stab anything, anyway. He was sipping on his third bottle, eyes drooping and mumbling, „..this wine tastes like shit“, then he fell asleep.

Xanxus awoke and the first thing he saw through his almost halved skull was red. Red, everywhere. Blinking slowly, then faster, he stared at the red color on his shirt.

_ Did he kill someone ? _

_ Did he- _

” _SHIT_! Did I kill him ?!“

_ Well, fuck, he would find another way to stay the Decimo. _

He smelled his shirt and wondered why Sawada's blood smelled like wine.

A crooked grin appeared on his face.

”Looks like I can stay the Decimo.“

He was about to change his shirt, then remembered that he would get it sweaty during practice anyway. Holding onto his head, he got up.

Tsuna had managed to find a book that was not only readable (meaning normal Japanese), but also one he could imagine reading for a whole day, camping between the vases. When he heard footsteps from inside, he quickly hid even more between the vases and watched. At first it only looked like Xanxus now wore a dark shirt, but once he was in the bright sun, the crimson red hit Tsuna's eyes and made them go wide in horror.

_ Did he kill someone ?! _

_ Maybe the ninjas ?! _

The direct sunlight seemed to hurt Xanxus, he shielded his eyes and held his head.

_ Probably from the tear gas and the fight against the ninjas and Reborn! _

Instead of directly heading for the trees, Xanxus actually sat down not far from where Tsuna was hiding. Holding his breath, he hoped for him to move soon. The blood smelled oddly sweet in his nostrils. Almost like when his mother was cooking with sake...

_ What I would give for home-cooking now ! _

He almost drooled, then remembered that he was in imminent danger.

_ If I make it out of here alive, I can ask in the kitchen for something home-styled later. _

Xanxus finally got up and left for the trees and with him went the mysterious smell.

Xanxus wasn't a lightweight when it came to drinking, but even he realized that he needed to take a break. Walking past the kitchen this evening, he hoped to find an alternative, fast.

As if heaven-sent, he eventually found himself at a hot spring, located at the side of the mansion. _He_ knew _he had seen water from above..._

Getting into the hot water felt heavenly. 

_ And it sure as hell won't lead to a bad hangover the next day ! _

Leaning back his head, he allowed his eyes to close and a contented sigh to escape.

_ The first good thing to happen in Japan... _

He opened his eyes again and watched the steam drift off the water surface.

_ He could be covered in ice right now. And here he was, soaking in hot water. Married. _

He watched the slight movement of the water, rising from the ground.

_ Maybe the meeting with candidates to become Decimo had meant to be something similar ? Maybe he had meant to chose someone and marry this person to become Decimo with them ? Well, he had gotten another chance at it then. But none of them had been strong enough, worthy. He guessed, he could give Sawada a chance. Now, Sawada, _ he _was strong._

_ Being married, did not mean he had to start to like him, only that he would not kill him. _

_ He guessed, he could live with that...especially if it meant being Decimo... _

Xanxus ran a hand over his face, hot water trickling down. That hot spring could definitely compete with the ones he had visited at home. He looked at his hand. It was still the same body, and yet..

_ Guess you can't just erase eight years, even if they are spent frozen... _

Had he grown taller ? Maybe. He couldn't tell. Walking and moving in general had been hard in the beginning, either way.

He sunk deeper into the water, completely submerging himself for a moment before resurfacing and sitting up again.

Tsuna couldn't believe that he was still alive after more than five days of being in the same place as Xanxus.

However, he was sure this streak of luck was coming to an abrupt end, when Xanxus suddenly stood in front of his vase hideout. His face was once again impossible to read.

”So you watch me practice.“

Tsuna did not know what he should answer to that, if it even had been a question. That's why his voice heightened a bit at the end, when he answered ”...yes ?“.

He briefly thought of the last thing he had eaten and read, which would be the last thing he would ever eat and read.

He couldn't tell if Xanxus had even blinked before turning and walking away again.

_ Walking away again ?! _

Tsuna touched his own face, arms and chest.

_ I'm still alive !? I'm still alive ! _

Whenever Tsuna got bored, he would stroll inside and look at the rest of the mansion. Sometimes he found a room he had never seen before; or at least it looked like it to him.

Of one wing he stayed clear. For some reason a smell of fire lingered there. He had the idea that this was the realm where Xanxus slept. One peek into it, torn walls and pieces of what might have been furniture on the floor, was enough.

But he never walked around the house for long. In the back of his mind, there was always this underlying fear, a very vivid image of Xanxus suddenly creeping around the corner, killing him in the most gruesome and isolated way. So, he rather stayed close to the terrace, where he could see and hear exactly where the person was who would eventually kill him.

The days after this, Tsuna saw little reason to hide between the vases anymore; he had been found out anyway. Now he could get himself a chair and pillows and watch Xanxus burn some trees in comfort !

In fact, he was just thinking, how much more comfortable his life now was, when Xanxus flew in his direction. Hovering over him in mid-air, he simply said „Get your gloves.“, then darted away again. Tsuna walked inside. After a few steps down the room, he stopped.

_ Wait, why am I doing what he says ? Also, it's not like my gloves are going to magically appear in a random drawer ! Sure, my clothes did, but clothes are perfectly normal for a honeymoon ! I think ! But who brings Dying Will gloves to their honeymoon ?! Aaah, and also it's not a honeymoon ! I'm NOT married ! _

Tsuna walked to his room anyway and sure enough, there in the drawer were his gloves. A huge sweat drop formed on his head, still he took them and walked back.

He was almost outside, when Reborn appeared in his way.

“Tsuna ! What's with the gloves ? This is your honeymoon, not a tournament, Idiot-Tsuna !”

“Reborn, I really need to get going, I-”

Just then Xanxus' voice roared from outside:

”What's taking you so long ?! You taking a shit or what ?!?“

Letting Reborn stand where he was, Tsuna started running outside. „Coming !“

Xanxus was hovering in mid-air, staring down at him, as if he had run outside without his pants.

Tsuna quickly checked, then looked back in confusion. The other one still seemed to be waiting for something.

”Do you need something to get in the mood ?“ Xanxus asked.

_ The mood ? _

”Do I need to shoot at you or something for your flames to start ?“

Tsuna went wide-eyed, especially when he saw Xanxus taking aim, waved his arms frantically in front of him while mustering every bit of dying will to get into Dying Will mode. He was about to cry when the flame appeared on his forehead at the last second. Xanxus only nodded, then flew towards the trees. Tsuna, having no idea otherwise, flew after him. When he arrived, Xanxus stood in a clearing.

”You shoot a branch and I try to shoot it before it hits the ground.“ Xanxus ordered rather than suggested.

Tsuna could only nod. It was so weird having Xanxus talk this much without attacking him !

_ That might still happen anytime, though ! _

Tsuna went for the first branch and cut it off with a blast of flame. But the branch had hardly started falling before Xanxus had shot it himself.

”Too easy.“

Tsuna gulped. This way, he shot branch after branch, trying to get just a bit faster each time.

_ Just a bit...just a  _ little _bit faster than last time !_

Xanxus' shots were in his ears, flames shooting everywhere to his sides, the world became blurrier, the faster he flitted around. Suddenly, Xanxus was behind him. He grabbed his arm and the sound that came out of his throat sounded triumphant. Shock hit Tsuna, his mind went blank and he sped up to escape, half-noticing that he was dragging Xanxus with him and when he did, he stopped abruptly, making the other one crash into a tree.

_ AAAAAAHHHH, now he is gonna kill me for sure ! _

Tsuna wanted to fly away in every direction at the same time and yet was frozen to the spot. He couldn't do anything but watch Xanxus get up again. Time went by very slowly while Xanxus flew up to him.

_ To deliver the fatal blow. _

Tsuna closed his eyes.

”Good speed.“ Xanxus said.

Surprised, Tsuna opened his eyes again.

Xanxus held his gaze for a moment longer, then flew on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all competent and or native speakers of Italian:
> 
> I would be very grateful for some Italian pet names, phrases, and sayings. It can be as cheesy and obscure as you like. Dishes and tourist spots are also welcome.


	3. Tre Sanka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10.10. Happy Birthday, Xanxus !  
> The date makes you a 10/10 ;)

Tsuna still couldn't believe what a weird day yesterday had been.

_I kinda trained with... Xanxus ?! ….and I'm kinda still alive ?!_

Yesterday, afterwards, he had treated himself to a big portion of hamburger steak to overcome the shock. On this day, he was sitting outside in his new favorite chair, munching on pieces of melon. Just then, Xanxus zoomed into his view. He nearly choked.

”Get your gloves !“ Xanxus told him. In a weird way, he sounded like a coach calling out a slacker. Tsuna didn't even dare to finish the rest of his melon and quickly hurried inside to get his gloves. Back in the air, Xanxus told him to go for the same routine as yesterday. After a couple of shots, Tsuna found that, somehow, Xanxus had gotten faster over night. It was getting harder for Tsuna to stay ahead, the other one getting closer inch by inch.

_Almost as if he can read my mind and knows where I'll shoot and fly next. Scary !_

The thought made him panicked enough to gather all the energy he could somehow muster.

From then on, he kept being ahead of Xanxus. Just when he was thinking that he might be able to   
pull off a few more rounds of this, Xanxus was suddenly next to him again. Flashbacks of yesterday  
and getting grabbed made Tsuna's mind freeze.  
”Attack me !“ Xanxus bellowed, instead.  
_Wait, WHAT ?!_  
Tsuna was so surprised, he crashed into a tree.  
The next day, they started out again with shooting off branches. Then Xanxus was next to him again  
with his weird order. This time, Tsuna was so taken aback, he actually fired the tiniest ball of flame   
against him. _NOO ! What did I DO ?!_  
He wanted to hide, quickly, just somewhere far away from him, but as he darted passed Xanxus, the  
other one grabbed his arm. Purely by instinct, Tsuna hit his hand away with his own.  
”Come on !“ Xanxus roared and placed a punch at him. Tsuna responded by darting away quickly,   
only to bounce back and hit him. ”That's it !“ He heard Xanxus shout.  
_What the- What's he so happy about ?_  
More punches rained down on Tsuna, which he either dodged, deflected or hit head on, all   
accompanied by Xanxus' yelling.  
_It's like training with a demon version of Ryhohei !...wait, can a demon version of_ senpai _even_  
_exist ?_  
This moment of deep thought was enough for Tsuna not to see the fist meeting his cheek. It felt like   
a Shinkansen had driven through his head. Momentarily dizzied by the pain, Tsuna had no chance to  
defend against the other blows which followed. The more intense the pain got, the bigger his wish   
shone to be without pain. His flame started burning brighter as he dodged the next fist.  
”That's it !“ Xanxus growled, starting a new salvo of punches right away.   
Tsuna dodged, Tsuna hit back, both his and Xanxus' speed increasing. Xanxus' shouting voice was   
the background to which his punches became even faster, until his body was acting on its own and   
he rather watched himself punching Xanxus than actually thinking about it. The weirdest thing was,  
the faster and the more he punched Xanxus, the more the other one seemed to spur him on.   
Suddenly sensing an opening, Tsuna let his fist crash against Xanxus' jaw, the impact making the   
other one turn his body with it. Tsuna stopped and blinked.  
_I'm so dead, I'm so dead, I'm-_  
Xanxus touched his jaw, then slowly turned back to him.  
Tsuna's mind was racing over his imminent death.  
_What did I eat this morning ? Was it anything good as a last meal ?? I should have called home and_  
_said goodbye !!_  
Xanxus spit, then flew towards the ground.  
Tsuna blinked again.  
_I'm not yet dead ? Why did he leave ? Does he want to kill me somewhere else ?_  
A thought made him grimace.  
_Does he not want my blood to spill on the trees ?!_  
Very cautiously, Tsuna floated down as well, ready to dart away at any suspicious move. But   
Xanxus didn't move, at least not at him. The other one wiped the sweat off his brow, and then, not   
looking at him, said, ”There's a hot spring.“ With these words, he walked away.  
_A... hot spring ? Does he mean an_ onsen _??_  
Curiosity got the better of Tsuna and so he followed after him.   
He could not believe his eyes, when he stood at the entrance of an actual _onsen_. In front of him was   
the washing room and through a door he could clearly see the wonderful, steaming goodness that   
was a true, genuine Japanese _onsen_ !  
_Wait, I could have gone to the_ onsen _everyday ?! I could have had my very own private_ onsen _every_  
_single day ?!?_  
Feeling very stupid and at the same time not wanting to miss out any longer, Tsuna quickly washed himself and ran outside. Just when he was about to step into the water did he remember that he wasn't alone. Xanxus stood right next to him, very naked; but also very much not paying attention to him. Not even acknowledging his presence once, Xanxus went into the water. Making sure there was enough distance between them, Tsuna climbed into the _onsen_ as well. 

_So wonderfully hot !_ Onsen _is the best !_

Tsuna felt as if it were his birthday. This unexpected treat was wonderful. The whole of his Japanese soul was rejoicing ! 

In the water, he was definitely feeling all the bruises on his skin, but at the same time the heat was soothing. 

Onsen. _is.the.best.!_

He would have let out a happy sigh, were it not for Xanxus. That reminded him. Very carefully, he looked over to the other one. Xanxus' eyes were closed or at least almost and he, too, seemed to be a fan of the _onsen_. 

_The first and only thing we have in common_.

Tsuna had meant to go back to rejoicing in the warmth of the onsen again, when his eyes couldn't be t torn away from the hair on Xanxus' arms. He had heard that Europeans tended to have more hair than the Japanese, but this- ! 

_He's hairy everywhere ! Like a black-haired_ namahage !

Whilestepping into the water he had gotten a glimpse of Xanxus' legs; it was like black moss growing on a human leg ! His arms were the same and so was his chest ! But unlike some foreigners he had seen in movies, his chest hair wasn't curly, straining to grow out of the shirt collar. Instead, Xanxus' hair was growing close to his skin, hugging it, like fur or... 

_...stripes...like tiger stripes...it's even black stripes on brownish skin...the scars are only very faint_ _underneath it..._

”You can touch it. It is yours.“ Xanxus said very matter-of-factly, through almost closed lids that were not looking at him. Immediately, Tsuna waved his hands frantically to decline. 

“WHA- No, NO !”

_WHAT is he saying ?_

_….also, he caught me staring !_

_I'm so dead !_

Tsuna couldn't believe what Xanxus had said. He made it sound like he was talking about a fact !

_Like having brown eyes and owning a person is the same thing !_

A moment passed, then one of Xanxus' eyes popped open.

“Smart move.” His eye closed again and he leaned his head back.

The gesture reminded Tsuna of a cat.

_A big cat...with stripes.....a tiger.. ! I am in an onsen with a tiger !_

For the rest of his time in the onsen, Tsuna made sure to keep his eyes to himself.

He had not wanted Sawada to touch him. It had been a bluff; and yet, somehow, the truth. The fact remained that they were married now: Sawada was his and he was Sawada's; whether he liked it or not. But the fact also remained that he did NOT like this fact. 

He felt resignation; quite a bit of it. 

He did not want to resign, to agree to the reality of being married; but he felt resigned.

He despised defeat;...and this wasn't one...

It was one thing to be married and another to act married.

He would let Sawada live, he would tolerate his presence and he would not seek his harm.

But that was all.

_Fuck marriage obligations._

He briefly wondered what the _Decimo_ deal had to say about him being a widower...

The next day, Tsuna had his gloves ready, even before Xanxus could yell at him. Since he couldn't yell at him for that, he yelled at him for following him too slowly. Tsuna didn't mind, all he saw was the _onsen_ waiting for him at the end. So after they had fought in the air, Tsuna was almost bouncing in the direction of the water. But Xanxus did not move. 

”I discovered the sauna.“ Was all he said and all that was left for Tsuna to do was to follow him. He had heard of saunas, of people enjoying them and the heat they brought, but never been in one himself. When they stood in front of a wooden door, he was already missing the _onsen_. Next to him, Xanxus undressed, then stepped into a shower. 

_Well, that part is like an_ onsen _. Maybe it's not so bad, after all._

Once he had showered as well, they stepped into the sauna. Tsuna mimicked Xanxus and sat down on a towel. One minute passed. 

_It IS bad, so bad, way too hot, not at all like an onsen !!_

He glanced to the side where Xanxus was sitting. Hands resting on his thighs, eyes closed, he almost looked like he was in prayer, or a statue defying the heat of the sun. 

_When is it over ? When are we finally getting out again ??_

Tsuna tried to brave the heat like the other one did, sitting through what felt like thrice the heat of a Japanese summer. Xanxus finally stirred and they went out again. 

_Back into the sweet, cool world !_

Tsuna wondered if the next step was to shower again or if some obscure sauna ritual was missing. Then he saw Xanxus pick up a bucket, scoop up water from a basin next to the shower and pour it over his arms and feet. The water also reached Tsuna's toes before draining away. It was ice cold. Xanxus filled the bucket again, then turned it over his head and shook his head like a dog. 

_So cool ! How badass is that ?!_

Tsuna grabbed the second bucket, filled it and poured the ice water over his head. The next thing he noticed was that he was lying on the ground, Xanxus' face hovering over him. 

_I'm dead, this is my end ! Mum, thank you for everything ! Please confess to Kyoko for me !!!_

But Xanxus helped him up and Tsuna immediately saw how much the world was still spinning. The thought came to him unasked that if they were reversed and he would have to pick up Xanxus, he would probably slip and crash on the other one. 

_...and THEN I would really die !_

"First you are too slow, then you are too fast.“ Xanxus grumbled, making him sit next to the basin. ”Pouring it right on your head, you wanna kill yourself ?!“ Tsuna looked down, feeling awkward. Xanxus continued his rant. "Well, too bad, I'm looking after your ass now ! You're sitting the next round out“. With that, Xanxus took a quick shower, then went back into the sauna room. At first, Tsuna heeded his words. But then he couldn't sit still anymore. 

_I can still be just as badass !_

With a swing that was much too enthusiastic, he opened the sauna door and made a show of climbing past Xanxus, sitting even higher than him.The second he sat down, he remembered why he had disliked the sauna the first time. 

_Sooo hooooot..._

He was so hot, he didn't mind that his mouth was hanging open, didn't mind he could start to drool

_...it would all turn to steam instantly anyway..._

When he was sure his brain was about to be cooked in a well done way, he heard Xanxus' voice from below. 

”What's the big idea sitting on the hottest level, when you can't even tolerate medium, dumbass ?!“

Tsuna would have blushed if his face wasn't so heated up already anyway. He climbed down and came to sit on the bench with Xanxus.

_Still soo hoooot, but a tiny little bit better..._

”You still alive ?“ Xanxus muttered after a moment. Tsuna nodded, fiercely. vWhen they went out of the sauna, Xanxus personally dragged him to the shower. 

”And if you really feel like being stupid again, you pour the ice water on your hand and feet first, got it ?!“ He growled. 

Aside from the fact that this time Tsuna did not faint, cooling off after this kind of heat was actually nice. When they both had showered, Tsuna copied Xanxus in grabbing a bathrobe, walking outside to another part of the terrace and sitting down at a table. Xanxus immediately snatched something looking like a radio that had stood on the table. 

”Penne all'arrabbiata.“ He barked into the device. Tsuna was fascinated, then remembered the intercom like system in the mansion. Xanxus seemed to notice his presence. Holding the device to his mouth again, he growled, ”Two, and fast !“. Less than five minutes later, steaming plates filled with noodles covered in a red sauce stood before them. 

”Please enjoy your meal, Xanxus-sama, Tsunayoshi-sama.“ The man who had brought them their food said while bowing and then left. Tsuna looked at the steaming food. He wasn't sure if the name of the dish meant that it was spicy or not, but the bright red very much suggested it. 

”Didn't we just sweat a lot ?“

”Didn't they teach you there is no bad time for spicy food ? It's obvious you don't come from a truly hot country.“ Xanxus grumbled and took up his fork. Tsuna had heard that Asian food was spicier than European one, so he supposed he could handle it. He was about to pick up his own fork, when he realized that this was the first time he ate with Xanxus. He glanced at the still steaming noodles. Their redness was almost taunting him. 

_What if it's poisoned ?!_

But he also had seen enough poison cooking and also had it in his face more than enough to know that this didn't look like it. Yet the fact that Xanxus was hesitating to eat was very suspicious. The other one held onto his fork, stared at the food, slowly picked up a piece of pasta – and then started wolfing it down. 

_Probably not poisoned then. Itadakimasu !_

The first noodle was good and then- PAIN, PURE PAIN.

_IT'S LIKE A SAUNA - BUT. IN. MY. MOUTH !!_

Tsuna started to cough violently, eyes bulging.

_SO SPICY !!_

He heard a similar sound coming from Xanxus. When he looked over, he saw that the other one was....actually laughing ?! Eyes screwed shut, Xanxus was laughing in a way that was probably heartily, the sound that was leaving his mouth sounded as if he were having a coughing fit. Even though the spice still burned him, Tsuna couldn't help but to start laughing, too. He didn't make it very far, though, and the spice made him cough again, which only made Xanxus laugh even harder and double over. When all was calm again, Tsuna had tears in his eyes form the spice and the laughter. He also noticed Xanxus wiping away something similar out of his eyes. 

”That was better than any show I could order to have with my food.“ Xanxus chuckled. Tsuna would have laughed at that, too, but then he saw that the whole plate of pasta was still out there, waiting for him. At his shocked face, Xanxus laughed his cough-laugh again. The next day, Tsuna wondered what would happen today. _Onsen_ ? Sauna ? Just lying around in the shade watching Xanxus ? He had just gotten dressed and opened his door, to find Reborn standing before him !

”Did you enjoy your honeymoon, Tsuna ?“

”What do you mean-“

”'Cause it's over. It's back to school and normal life now.“

_Whaaat ? It's over ?! Already ?!_

”But- didn't I just get here ??“

”You have no reason to complain, Idiot-Tsuna. You had two whole weeks and even a bonus of another two days ! That's sixteen days, since you probably can't count, No-Good Tsuna.“ Saying no more, Reborn dragged Tsuna after him. Outside, while Tsuna stumbled down the steps of the mansion, he noticed all of Varia standing around Xanxus. Before Tsuna could see and do more, he was thrown into a car. 

”You know,“ Reborn said when they started driving, "this mansion used to be Primo's summer hideout whenever he felt like relaxing with G. That was why it was thought fitting for a honeymoon.“ 

”What about Xanxus ?“ Tsuna blurted out.

”What about him ?“

”Where does he go ?“

”Back to Italy, of course. Did you think he would start living with you and mama and the rest of us, Idiot-Tsuna ? He has things to settle within Varia, now that he is no longer their boss and even more things to do when it comes to the Vongola Famiglia as the new Tenth.“ 

”I see.“ Tsuna said, not really seeing at all what was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life of Tsuna: Anthro and Onsen Edition


	4. Quattro Yonka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's October 19th, so happy belated birthday, Tsuna !

Suddenly Tsuna was back home. It was a little weird.

_ I miss my own  _ onsen _!!_

_ I definitely did not miss homework ! _

And they had gotten a _ton_ of it today !

Right now, he was walking home from school with Yamamoto.

”Hey, Tsuna...“ Yamamoto started, sounding in thought.

”Hmm ?“

”Since you're married now, does that make you my senpai ?“ His trademark smile broke out and he laughed.

Tsuna went wide-eyed. ”I'm NOT married !“ 

Yamamoto laughed again. ”I know, I know. But since we are already in 'the Mafia', what's a little 'marriage' ? I also think you chose a good husband.“

”First of all, I didn't chose anything and- WHAT ?!“

”It makes sense. You could have been in 'the Yakuza', but you chose the Italian Mafia. Only makes sense to marry an Italian, if you ask me.“

The sheer logic and optimism that oozed out of Yamamoto made Tsuna speechless for a moment, then he desperately tried to change subjects. Talking about harmless, Xanxus-free things, they eventually arrived at _TakeSushi_. Inside, Yamamoto's father was in the middle of preparing something.

”Congrats on getting married, again !“ He thundered, then held out the plate of sushi he had been working on. ”This is for your husband.“

Tsuna stared at the plate. It was a work of art. Fish of different sizes, textures and colors all came together in bigger and smaller circles of _sashimi_ like some kind of fish firework. In between, like smaller fireworks, were intricate _gunkan sushi_ , each with a different topping.

It looked so tasty, it was another work of art that he was able to stop himself from immediately eating it.

”Uhm, won't it spoil if I send it to Italy ?“ Tsuna asked, not wanting to hurt any feelings.

Yamamoto's father looked at him as if he had said something really stupid.

”You are not supposed to _mail_ it ! Take a picture and send that to him so he knows what to expect when he comes to visit.“ Putting the plate down in front of Tsuna, he walked away, shaking his head. ” _Newlyweds_ , honestly ! _Mailing_ sushi to _Italy_...!“

Yamamoto laughed heartily. 

”Don't take his words too harsh, Tsuna.“ He told his friend, patting him on the shoulder.

”What kind of flowers or decorations does Xanxus like ? We could arrange that with the plate for the picture.“

_ Trees. He likes smashed and burning trees, that's what he likes. Oh, and torturing me. _

But Tsuna kept his thoughts to himself, only showing a huge drop of sweat on the outside and waving his hands dismissively, but politely.

”Oh, that won't be necessary.“

”Nonsense ! Beautiful food needs to be displayed beautifully !“

_ Yamamoto, you are the most Japanese person I know. _

Before he could stop him, his friend had come back with a couple of wall scrolls and one small bamboo plant in a pot.

”Sorry, Tsuna, I couldn't find flowers, but this bamboo will do just fine.“ With that he placed it next to the sushi plate.

”To wish your marriage sturdiness, long and good growth and just the flexibility it needs.“

Tsuna felt like enduring another fake wedding.

_ Sooo embarrasing ! _

Next, Yamamoto went through the scrolls.

”...hmm, probably..., yeah, probably this one would be best.“ He hung up a wall scroll featuring blooming sakura and turned to Tsuna.

”To symbolize the start of something new. Together with the bamboo it should cancel out the feeling of 'being over soon' and only leave something fresh, never before in existence that will last forever.“

_ If that's the case, then only send him the sakura ! _

”Do you think he will like it ?“ Yamamoto asked him.

_ He is not kidding, is he ? _

Tsuna could only nod. With a grin, Yamamoto started taking pictures with his phone of the arrangements from various angles.

”...aaaaand sent ! With greetings from the Yamamoto family to yours.“ His friend grinned proudly after sending the pictures to him. Tsuna had never before felt so sick at what one of his friends had said. He felt like deleting the pictures right away, but Yamamoto kept talking until Tsuna opened his mail app. Then he stopped.

_ I don't have Xanxus' contact info. _

”I, uh, I'll send it to him later, promise ! There's, uh, something that came up,...yeah !“

Quickly leaving Yamamoto and the troublesome sushi pics behind, Tsuna walked out, not really looking at the direction.

When he found himself by the river, he regretted it.

_ I should have checked the direction a little bit at least ! _

Just then, Kyoko and Haru walked his way, making him forget his trouble.

_ Never mind, this direction is the best direction ever ! _

The two girls spotted him.

”Oh, hello, Tsuna !“ Haru greeted him, waving her shopping bags.

”Sorry, we didn't get to talk much in school today, Tsuna-kun.“ Kyoko added.

A wide smile spread over Tsuna's face.

”Don't worry about it !“

_ Kyoko-chan is sorry that we didn't get to talk, this is heaven ! _

”So, did you settle back well ? It must probably be strange now.“ Kyoko wondered.

Tsuna looked at her with a confused expression.

”Strange ?“

”Yes, since you are married now, returning to your family home and living with them must be strange, I thought.“

_ That reminds me ! I need to set this misunderstanding straight right away ! I don't want Kyoko-chan getting any weird ideas ! Or start dating someone else ! _

He was about to open his mouth, when Haru shook her fist passionately, her face screwed up in a way that the only thing missing seemed to be steam out of her nostrils.

_ But that would be way too anime. _

”Stupid Xanxus, marrying you right under our noses !“ Haru complained loudly.

Tsuna went wide-eyed. Xanxus probably had eyes and ears everywhere and he did not want his wrath to reach Haru. He quickly stopped her, before she could think of more colorful names.

”Don't say that ! He-“

”Aww, I think it's wonderful how you are defending your husband, Tsuna-kun !“ Kyoko fawned.

”I'm not defending-“

”Aww, do you hear that, Haru ? It comes so normal to him, he doesn't even hear it !“

”Yeah...“ Haru said, looking a bit sad.

”Super cute, _neee_ ?“ Kyoko kept on gushing.

”...cute, yeah...“ Haru still mumbled.

Tsuna only half followed their exchange. He was busy trying to figure out how to right this mess. That's why he almost jumped when Kyoko suddenly grabbed his hands, staring him right in the face with big eyes.

”Tsuna-kun, in a marriage it is crucial to be faithful, loyal and supportive and it is also the best part of it. I love how you and Xanxus are practicing that. Being a good partner really shows what a person is made of ! Isn't that right, Haru ?“

Haru had gained her enthusiasm back, shaking a fist.

”Yeah, and Tsuna is made of the best things !“

_ So if I tell her now that it's all fake, Kyoko-chan will think I'm a fake, too ?!? How did I get into this situation ?! There's no way I can tell her now ! Not when she's so happy about me being married !....wait, being married ?! But I'm not ! Aaargh, Kyoko-chan, if I could only tell you !! _

”Did you enjoy your honeymoon, Xanxus ?“ Timoteo asked his son.

Xanxus shrugged, not really meeting his eyes.

”I suppose.“ He muttered.

”Did you and Tsunayoshi enjoy the hot spring ?“

Another non-committal shrug.

”What about the sauna, did you two like that as well ?“

The memory of Sawada nearly killing himself and his antics in the heat appeared in Xanxus' mind and he couldn't stop a grin from forming.

”..Yeah, that was fun.“

Timoteo watched him.

”Did you decide yet about the future of Varia ?“

”Squalo will be the next leader.“

The older man nodded.

”Yes, he is a good choice.“

Xanxus felt the other one's eyes on him. He turned to the elderly man.

”I'm proud of you, _mio figlio_.“ Timoteo told him, a smile on his face.

A sound tore out of Xanxus' mouth both incredulous and enraged; a sound that might have been ' _padre_ '. But he stormed off before more could follow.

”Listen up, you shits !“ Xanxus barked at the members of Varia after kicking open the door.

”In my position as _Decimo_ , I'm announcing the next leader of Varia ! The next leader will be Squalo !“

” _Who else_ could it have become ?“ Squalo asked no one in particular with an eye roll and flicked his long silver hair over his shoulder.

Belphegor shrugged. ”Being leader means only more work.“

”Yeah, and for the same pay.“ Mammon agreed.

”Suits me.“ Lussuria nodded.

Absolutely no one was listening to Levi, who was crying silently in the background.

”Booooss ! You can't leave uuuus ! You are the only boss there ever could be ! You-“

”One question.“ Lussuria threw in, as Xanxus was almost out of the door again.

”What ?!“

”When is the little _principessa_ going to return ? Just so we can mark it in our calendars and have no other job on that day.“

Pushing aside the first thought (who the fuck Lussuria was talking about) and the second one (that anyone married to him would not be _una principessa ma una regina_ ), Xanxus considered Lussuria's idea and found it not so lacking.

_He would be watching over him during his stay in Italy, but he wouldn't be around him constantly._ _Having a whole team of elite mafiosi watch his_ marito _, his husband, would make his survival even more likely and thus the chance of himself staying_ Decimo _._

”During school break in Japan.“

Lussuria seemed excited at the prospect and raised his hand, asking for another question.

”What is it now ?!“

”Uhh, do you think I could take him shopping ? Just so our _principessa_ gets something proper to wear.“

Xanxus didn't even need to ponder the need of a good wardrobe and the prestige that came with it.

He shrugged.

”Sure.“

He left before he could watch Lussuria finish his jig of joy or hear the end of his fashion suggestions.

Once the sound of Xanxus' steps could no longer be heard, Mammon spoke up.

”Should be easy money, then.“

”Yeah,“ Belphegor agreed, „how hard can it be looking after that kid. Especially since he's practically doing all the work for us, able to use a Dying Will Flame and all. Should be a breeze.“

Levi was still crying.

”It will never be the same without the boss...“

Squalo crushed his face into the floor with his boot.

”VOI ! CAN IT ! I'm about to say something.“

Nobody looked at him.

”VOI ! I'm the boss now and I say we are taking this mission. It's in accordance with our success rate.“

”Wouldn't that be a 115% chance of success this time ?“ Mammon wondered. „Shouldn't there be more pay then ?“

”IDIOT ! If it's easier, then why should they be paying us more ? Another question like that and I'm paying you less.“

Belphegor whistled.

”Uhhh, new boss has taken over.“ He chuckled.

That person was on his roof again. Hibari hated it, when that happened.

”Yo, Hibari !“ Dino greeted him loudly.

_ Why was he always so loud ? _

Hibari kept staring ahead, ignoring the other one. Maybe he would leave.

But he never did.

Instead, the blond Italian came to lean against the wall, not too far from where he was sitting a few meters higher.

”How are you ? Enjoyed your holidays ?“

No word. He would not give him one word.

For some reason, the other one never stopped smiling. It did not even matter what he did to him.

”Do you have anything fun planned for the next holidays ? Maybe a family gathering ? Some food, some dance, some drinks, eh ?“

Hibari felt the need to use his tonfas. He did and the other merely jumped away a few meters; chuckling, of course.

Dino always enjoyed his visits with Hibari.

Mamma mia _, that_ ragazzo _sure is some piece of work !_

But Dino kind of liked him for it. Who was he kidding, he _loved_ him for it.

_ Just so you wait,  _ carissimo _._

He really needed an answer to his question, though. The last thing he wanted was for Hibari to miss something as important as a family meeting.

The next days and weeks went by in a blur. Tsuna didn't complain, it only meant school felt less of a hassle and he got to survive more days before more strange stuff happened; and strange stuff seemed to happen to him more often these days.

Just after he had gotten back home, Reborn had had this strange idea to have a test of courage. As if he would ever need one after spending more than two weeks in a row around Xanxus ! But he went for the test anyway, even if it meant going to the cemetery at night. Not only did no one leave him a choice, but it was also a chance to be paired up with Kyoko-chan !

_ Never mind that she thinks I'm married and that that is the greatest thing ever... _

But just a little time with her and his friends was nice.

Or it would have been, had he not been paired up with Lambo and basically everyone had been out to scare him. Also, he had met a real ghost, Romeo, Bianchi's ex-boyfriend !

Just as scary was the one time when his mother came to school for class visitation.

_ Boy, talk about embarrassing ! _

The other moms had been kinda scary, especially that one lady.

_ Of course, nobody recognized Reborn again, when he posed as a teacher...and they call me No-Good ! _

After going through days like these, he knew he should be looking forward to the next school break. But he had a bad feeling about how he would spend it. Or rather, how other people decided he would spend it.

Xanxus thought, working together with his father was strange, _di certo_. Well, it wasn't like they had never been working on something before. But that was at least eight years ago. Or even longer. He briefly had flashbacks of them building a kite together. Catching fish by the lake (He had never liked worms).

Ever since his disgraceful loss of the rings and return to Italy, he thankfully had only few encounters with his father on which they were truly alone. There would usually be some henchmen and or Guardians around. He guessed, he couldn't blame them for being cautious around him. Little fuckers.

The first time they had been alone, his father had gone straight to ask after his well-being; even had the nerve to sound apologetic ! As if all he had done was forget to pick him up at the airport. As if all he had had to endure was getting cold during the wait. Fuck, his cage hadn't been real ice, but it sure hadn't been one fucking missing jacket. He had refused to hear more of his father then. After that, the old fool had started talking about this crazy wedding, his oh so grand plan.

Xanxus could only ever stand to be around him for a short time. It was all still too vivid.

Scusami, _those eight years haven't really passed for me,_ padre carissimo.

While he could hardly bear his father's presence, voice or face, he was angry at his _father_ for not bringing up his adoption (did he not care how he was feeling at all ?!?) and at the same time ready to burst into flames at the mere mention of anything connected to it.

Thankfully, after a few of those private confrontations, his father seemed to get which topics to avoid. Instead, they would talk about _that day_ (his father called it 'his wedding, such a joyful occasion'), Whenever he would rave about how great Sawada was, Xanxus had usually either walked or blanked out.

After _that day_ (still not a joyful occasion, of this he was very fucking sure), their topics would include actually useful things: becoming _Decimo_. Not that they had never spoken of this before in Xanxus' life. There were quite a few memories here and there at different stages of his life, when they would talk about his future: a night staying up watching stars, during a hike, a training session, him at age nine unpacking a present on Christmas that would teach him this and that about becoming a good next leader.

_Aahh_ , he remembered his childhood. Life had been simple then: he would grow up to follow his father's footsteps. Now, he had grown up and his _marito_ had happened.

His father's dream was that they would share their reign as two equal _Decimi_ and he was using the time while he was still pulling the strings as _Nono_ to show them both the ropes; so far he was only teaching him, but Xanxus guessed his _marito_ would be included at some point. Not that he would trust him with the organization and paperwork he himself was going through.

Speaking of him, when he would come over to visit, his own work concerning _La famiglia_ would give him ample reason to cut his time short with him.

It all worked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xanxus is being very 16 with his father.


	5. Cinque Goka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had a good Halloween !

Days before school break began, Tsuna's mother sent the household packing their bags for their trip to Italy. Kind of. For Lambo and I-Pin, she packed their stuff for them and kept telling Tsuna not to forget about sunscreen.

_ Telling my mom first how  _ I _will be spending my break...were they trying to be nice or not ?_

Some small part of him was hoping that it was all just a big coincidence, that them going to Italy had nothing to do with seeing Xanxus. Maybe there was another _Mafia Land_ over there ? 

_ That would make sense, right ? _

After Tsuna was able to convince Gokudera that he would survive without his right-hand man (and that of course, yes, he was his right-hand man and he wouldn't look for another right-hand man in Italy...not that he was planning to be a mafioso and have a right-hand man, anyway !), they drove to the airport. There, Tsuna, his mother, I-Pin, and Lambo were brought to a private jet.

The plane had taken off and Tsuna had just thought how nice it actually was, traveling to a whole different country and in a private plane at that, when the pilot introduced himself over the intercom in an all too familiar voice as Mr. Ribo. A moment later, Reborn walked through the cockpit door wearing a pilot uniform. Tsuna stared at him and nearly jumped out of his seat.

“Are you the pilot, Reborn ?“

“Don't be ridiculous, Tsuna. If I were the pilot right now, could I be standing here, talking to you ?“

“Then who's flying right now ?“

Reborn shrugged. “The autopilot.“

After a somewhat nerve-wrecking flight (Lambo tried to fight Reborn and almost wrecked the jet, suddenly making the autopilot the least of Tsuna's concerns), they arrived in Italy. They were driven to a huge mansion that seemed all the bigger to Tsuna after hearing that it was 'only the summer place'.

They stood in front of the double door entrance and wondered if they should knock. Tsuna was against it, partly because it seemed pointless for such a huge place and partly because he was hoping they would turn around and stay somewhere else. Then one of the doors flew open and Squalo rushed passed them. The second half of the entrance doors sprang open, the rest of Varia pouring out.

“Have fun at the airport playing nanny !“ Belphegor whistled after Squalo.

“My best wishes !“ Lussuria fluted.

“Don't worry, we'll find a way to spend your share !“ Mammon called after him.

“You were never my boss in the first place !“ Levi cried. The rest turned to him.

“You _do_ realize he _will_ be back ? “ Belphegor asked him with a chuckle.

“And rip off your ass for that ?“ Lussuria continued.

Levi ran inside, a river of tears gushing from his eyes and trailing behind him as he ran.

Belphegor shook his head.

“One of these days he will snap.“

Mammon took out a piece of paper.

“You wanna bet on a specific day ?“

They seemed to notice the presence of Tsuna and his family.

Tsuna gulped. He saw a fight break out any second. 

Then his mother started chirping about how nice the flight, the place, Italy, and the world in general was. Lussuria clasped her hands in his, shaking them enthusiastically.

“ _Benvenuta, mamma ! Benvenuta principessa ! Benvenuta_ everyone, welcome !“

Lussuria pushed the front doors open wide for them, beckoning them inside.

“Just leave your luggage here, it will be taken care of !“

Immediately Tsuna's mother was taken with the inside of the house as well and the Varia member had a field day explaining it to her. One step next to them, Lambo was getting out a bogey and sticking it to a vase that looked ridiculously expensive. I-Pin slapped him on the hand, they started fighting and the vase would have been destroyed, had not Mammon made it levitate.

“It may be ugly, but it's worth more than my month's salary.“ He explained, before setting it down at a safe distance. Tsuna grimaced.

_ Great, after staying here not even for five minutes, Xanxus already has a reason to kill us ! Lambo, why ? _

That reminded him. Looking around the entrance, Tsuna had not seen a sign of Xanxus.

His mother seemed to have had the same thought and asked about it.

“I'm afraid the boss is busy today.“ Lussuria explained to them. His expression lit up. “But not to worry, I have something fun planned for all of us !“ With that, he shoved them out the door again. Tsuna saw the rest of Varia remaining on the spot.

“They won't be joining us. At least not directly. They'll guard the surroundings while we have our fun.“ Lussuria explained to the group.

“Yeah, because we see your dumb face often enough !“ Mammon replied.

“They just worry that they'll fall in love with me !“ Lussuria fluted, loud enough for everyone to hear and flashing a dazzling smile.

Coming to walk next to Tsuna, Lussuria added in a more confidential voice: “Tsunayoshi-hime, there really is no need to worry about Xanxus. You'll see the other _Decimo_ this evening.“ Before Tsuna could reply anything, the Varia member had sprinted to his mother's side and started chatting. He didn't know what made his stomach churn more, the way he was addressed, the information itself or the way in which Lussuria had delivered it, as if it was a secret date or something !

It turned out the 'something fun' Lussuria had mentioned, was taking them to a department store.

_ Or a mall, but without the food and just clothes. There are soooooo many of them ! _

Lussuria was practically bouncing from one type of clothing to the next, sending pants, shirts and shoes flying into a seemingly bottomless cart. Meanwhile, Lambo had discovered the lingerie section and had fun with putting a bra on his face to run around blindly, knocking things over, especially mannequins.

_ Can you even put mannequins on a receipt ?! And how much are they ?!? _

I-Pin tried her best to contain him, but was often much too awed by the jewelry and dresses. While she was admiring a dress full of pineapple prints, Lambo was killing his second mannequin with the leg he got from the first one as if it were a pinata. As usual, his mother was oblivious to the chaos and mayhem around her. While Lussuria was dropping even more clothes in the cart, she was showing him various dresses, to which he would often nod or point out a different one.

Tsuna watched the scene before him and couldn't help a smile.

_ Everyone is happy. _

Then Lussuria's eyes fell on him.

“Ready for your first round ?“ 

Tsuna went wide-eyed.

_ First round of  _ WHAT  _?! Don't tell me we will be fighting in here ??_

Beaming at him, Lussuria shoved a bunch of clothes into his arms and pushed him into the next free changing booth.

Tsuna stood in the booth, staring at the clothes in front of him and blinked.

_ What ? _

_ Is there now a dress code for fighting ? Does it work this way in Italy ? _

_ But I don't even have my gloves ! _

_ Don't tell me this is why Xanxus wasn't at home, so he could attack me here !? _

For a second he saw a scene in his mind's eye, how he would come out of the booth in new clothes, only to have Xanxus jump from a pile of burning on-sale clothes.

Even Tsuna had to admit that he was getting worked up. He took a deep breath and stared at the clothes again.

_ Maybe they are really just clothes. _

_ But why would anyone bother to choose them for me ? _

Still confused, he took off his own clothes, got into the new pair of blue jeans and pulled a blue shirt over his head, leaving the buttons of the collar open to save time, then stepped into brown trainers. Eventually, he put on the last piece, a beige cardigan, even though it was more than warm. He stepped out, expecting anything.

Well, he hadn't expected his mom and Lussuria to sit in armchairs in front of his booth and start clapping at his appearance.

“Very nice !“ Lussuria applauded. „Without me saying anything you left the buttons open, what a fashion instinct ! That's the fabled hyper intuition to you !“ He tapped his phone repeatedly, taking pictures.

“You look really handsome, dear.“ His mother beamed at him.

“Uh, thanks...“

_ So it really is just about me trying on new clothes ? _

_ What Lussuria picked wasn't too weird either. Maybe this isn't so bad after all- _

“Here, try this next.“ Already, Lussuria had pushed a new load of clothes into his arms.

Once inside the booth, Tsuna had the feeling that essential parts of the outfit were missing.

_ Like a shirt for starters ! _

Cringing, he looked at parts of his bare chest in the mirror that were visible from underneath the light blue suit jacket he had put on. It didn't get any better with the rest of the outfit, which were white and red chequered pants, white sneakers, and, just to make it worse, orange sunglasses.

_ I changed my mind, this  _ IS  _bad !_

_ There is no way I'm going out like this, I- _

“Don't leave us waiting for so long, _principessa_ !“ Lussuria chirped, pulling him out of the booth.

“Oh, Tsuna, look at you !“ His mother exclaimed, all smiles.

“Yes, yes, look at our dazzling _principessa_ !“ Lussuria agreed, snapping away pictures as if he were on a runway. “Turn for us, Tsunayoshi-hime !“

Tsuna held his hands up to shield himself, but only found new clothes in his hands. Before he could say anything, the curtain of the booth had closed in front of him once again.

_ No way will I try on more stuff, it can only get weirder ! _

Despite his resolution, he couldn't help risking a glance.

_ Probably just a single pair of boxers and a hat or something... _

Looking at the clothes, he found to his surprise that they were more normal again. He saw a white shirt, one wider dark green button-down shirt with already rolled up sleeves he was probably supposed to put over it like a jacket. There also were some beige pants, some weird shoes with rope at the side and...sun glasses !

_ At least they are black... _

Him stepping out of the booth made his mother and Lussuria cheer again.

“I knew the green color and the espadrilles shoes were a good choice for you !“ The Varia member said, sounding very pleased with himself.

“Dear, don't just leave the sunglasses in your hair.“ His mother told Tsuna.

“It's fine.“ Lussuria corrected her. “They look good either way: on his head, his face, or hanging from the shirt.“ 

His mother beamed. “If that's the case, that means my little Tsuna is a natural !“

_ I'm neither little nor deaf, mom, I'm right here ! _

On the bright side, he had probably tried on enough clothes and they could leave, right ?

Yamamoto had never wondered for a second if going to Italy during his school break was a good idea. Other people might have, _especially_ since the plane tickets had been sent to him by _Squalo_. To be honest, when he had gotten them in the mail (via express), his first reaction had been to be amused. Ever since the end of the ring battles, they had been in contact, Squalo constantly telling him he should not be reading his letters, but be out there in the world, training his sword skills. Truly, his letters were more written reminders of his phone calls. Sometimes, the Italian had mentioned his home country as a good place to train and that he should think about it. So, it naturally had amused Yamamoto greatly, when he had gotten the official (and paid !) invitation. When he had told his father about it, his old man had packed him a huge bento and driven him to the airport, listing all the ingredients on the way that he expected his son to bring with him back home from his trip.

Yamamoto stepped out of the Italian airport and looked for any sign of Squalo. Then a silver colored, very fast, very expensive looking sportscar pulled up next to him. The window zoomed down and Squalo leaned out.

“Get your ass in the car !“

Yamamoto laughed in response and moved to the (for him switched) passenger side.

“I had a good flight, thank you.“

The moment he sat in the car, the engine roared and practically teleported them a hundred meters farther in a second. Not taking his eyes off the road, Squalo snapped:

“Don't think you are special only because I picked you up. I didn't feel like waiting a thousand years till you finally got your ass there on your own, using a slow-ass bus and having to ask for the way and stuff like that.“

Yamamoto laughed again. “Sure thing, Squalo. Thanks.“

While they were driving, the younger Japanese glanced over to the side. He did not have a driver's license and hadn't even started training for it yet. He also did not know about or care much for cars. But he knew about Squalo's missing left hand and wondered how that worked for a car. Squalo's eye darted over to him. The Italian's lips parted and could have stopped at annoyed, but his gritted teeth turned into a grin.

“Nice car, right ? My _Lamborghini_ is almost one of a kind. They only ever made four models of the _Lamborghini Veneno_ and I have one ! It's priceless ! But I still paid in cash !“ He let out a proud laugh at that. “750 horsepower ! Maximum speed of 355 kilometers per hour and from 0 to 100 km/h in 2.8 seconds ! You wanna know why they named it _Veneno_ ? This bull, they say, was one of the _strongest_ , most aggressive, and _fastest_ fighting bulls _ever_ !“ Squalo slapped the steering wheel in excitement. “It _killed_ its _torero_ !“

Even though all those facts were only numbers to Yamamoto without any real comparison, he still nodded and made an impressed face, feeling that this was what Squalo was after. He also bit his tongue about how that name 'Lamborghini' reminded him of Lambo and that a car named after a bull instinctively fit the little cow kid better. Squalo nodded towards the steering wheel.

“Also cost me a little fortune to have it customized for me.“ Instead of sad, he sounded very proud about all the spent money. “Now I can do anything at all in this car just using one hand !“

“That's really cool, Squalo.“

The Italian shrugged one shoulder at that. “Yeah, whatever.“. But Yamamoto could see clearly just how proud Squalo felt and couldn't help a smile.

Lussuria seemed to be unable to run out of clothes. After telling Tsuna he could keep the shoes on for the next outfit, he handed him a suede jacket with a black and white light scarf, a white shirt, dark belt, and white pants. More pictures and more clapping. Tsuna was sure he would never see the sunlight again.

Next, the Varia member gave him a white knit sweater AND a parka. Tsuna looked at the new pair of jeans and dark boots. He supposed the knit sweater and the parka were two different outfits ? Surely no one wore this together in summer ??

_ But that would only leave me shirtless again ! _

He decided to leave the parka in the booth when he came out.

“Where is the rest of your outfit ?“ Lussuria immediately asked.

Sweating just from the thought of it and from all this changing in the middle of summer, Tsuna pulled the jacket, which kind of reminded him of Dino's, over everything he was already wearing. Approving nods from his mother and Lussuria.

_ Apparently portable saunas are in fashion here... _

After getting the next package of clothes, Tsuna saw there was another weird one. A black overall with a white long sleeved shirt and white shoes.

_ Isn't this kind of outfit for kids ? _

_ It probably won't fit me anyway... _

But seeing that it fit and knowing that Lussuria would pull him out anyway if he wouldn't come himself, Tsuna showed himself reluctantly.

Lussuria kept taking pictures like mad and his mother clasped her hands together.

“Tsuna, you could be on the cover of a fashion magazine ! You know, like those fashionable kids in _Harajuku_ ?“

_ I think you mean  _ Shibuya _, mom..._

The next pile of clothes _did_ have a little _Harajuku_ vibe to them; for starters, they were different shades of purple: A purple knit sweater with a scarf in a lighter purple topped off with an even lighter purple fedora. Tsuna was really thankful for the brown pants and shoes he got to wear along with.

Dino _had_ asked him. And from the little (actually very little, next to nothing, _niente di niente_ ) Kyoya had told him (it was a lot of guessing), he had come to understand that the Japanese had no family business during his school break.

_Certo_ , that wasn't a watertight explanation why he had brought Kyoya with him to Italy. But the others were doing it, too. Basically _everyone and their dog, mezzo mondo_ brought their Japanese lover to Italy during this break. His little brother and Xanxus were a given, of course. And then there was his little brother's rain guardian, Yamamoto; he had heard that Squalo had invited him over (He had no idea if and how long they were dating, but from what he had seen during the ring battles, he guessed it would not take long for their relationship to change). Who could blame him then for getting Kyoya ?? So, here they were.

Literally. The two of them were standing in the middle of a garden of a vacation home of his in the Italian countryside. Alas, the younger Japanese had his tonfas raised (sadly not a metaphor).

“Where am I ?!“ Kyoya demanded to know with a low growl.

Mamma mia _, please remember that tone for later !_

Dino raised his arms, showing open palms as a sign of peace.

“Hey, no hard feelings, Kyoya.“

The other one's eyes became even smaller. “ _Where_ am I ?“

“Italy, my place, and in safety.“

The other one raised his weapons a little.

“Italy ?“

“ _Italia_.“ Dino nodded. „ _Bella Italia_.“

Kyoya had been on his roof at school in Japan, when this person had come to take him away. At first, he had thought his attack had been a challenge and had welcomed the opportunity to prove his skills and strength. Then he had found himself in a car and next a plane. He did not like being treated like cargo. Kyoya was not a thing and not an animal, he was a human ! And humans were not cargo, they were not transported around without them deciding the destination. This was wrong. This whole situation was wrong. A deep growl came out of his throat as he raised his weapons even higher. He would make this person pay.

Dino noticed Kyoya readying himself for battle. _Mio poverino giapponesino ! My poor Japanese darling !_ Seeing it both excited and saddened the Italian.

What he loved so much about the Japanese was that he was strong and vulnerable at the same time.

Kyoya seemed so lost in the world; and yet, at the same time, as if the other people were lost in _his_ world...and he had to punish them for trespassing.

While Dino enjoyed his fights with him, he had not brought (maybe hijacked a little, the more he thought about it) him to his home country, to butt heads on familiar ground. Not that they couldn't and wouldn't at all, but he truly wanted to show the other one around and make sure he had a good time during his school break. He supposed he had to look for a way to calm Kyoya down. He bravely approached him with palms still raised.

“Kyoya, I'm sorry if that seemed a bit rushed.“

The younger Japanese still watched his every move. Dino decided to go for broke. He laid his hand on Kyoya's shoulder, trying to convey his regret and some kind of safety.

“I really am sorry.“

Hibari didn't like being hugged. What the other one was doing was only partially a hug, the beginning steps of it, but it still went in that direction and thus counted in his mind. He had seen a documentary, how cows like to pass tunnels that were very confined, like others of their kind were standing close by. He thought that was like a hug. So if someone hugged him, the person was saying he was a cow. Right now this person was saying he thought he was a cow. He didn't like that. He thought it made sense then that he had treated him like cargo. His anger rose. With something like a roar, he lashed out with his tonfas. The other one was irritatingly faster.

Now Dino was really torn between continuing what promised to be a very passionate fight and his original goal of welcoming his darling to his home. Following a sudden idea, he brought some distance between them with a jump. Kyoya was already on his way and about to unleash his tonfas once he reached the other one, when Dino held out Enzo. Kyoya stopped in his tracks. 

The turtle was cute. He did not hurt cute things. The animal was looking at him from its place in the other person's hand. Kyoya wanted to hold it, pet its head maybe. He also was confused. He knew that humans gave each other gifts; sometimes as a reward, and sometimes as an apology (or as a bribe, a retaliation after a previous gift or just because it was a specific holiday; it was complicated). Sure, he was strong and would have deserved a reward. But what if the turtle was meant as a gift to apologize ? He did not know much about gifts; he had no idea if this gift was adequate to apologize for the offense. Instinctively, he would say he felt much too offended for any gift to make this feeling go away ? Did this really work for other humans ? How weak and easy to turn in their feelings they were. Such cows. Such herbivores.  
Kyoya stopped his musings. 'Other humans' ? By giving him this gift that was meant as an apology between humans, was this person saying that he, Kyoya, was not a cow, but a human after all ?  
The whole thing was very confusing. Was the other one joking ?  
Kyoya did not get jokes. Jokes were confusing.  
The turtle started wriggling a little in the other one's hand, as if trying to get his attention. Kyoya reached out his hand and received the animal. It was really quite cute. Satisfied and ready to forget this offense that maybe never was, he gently petted the turtle's head, then put it on his shoulder, turned around and headed towards the woods. He would look for an airport now.  
Dino was very relieved when his darling took Enzo. He was looking much calmer as he did so. Then he saw him walk away. For the first few steps Dino guessed the Japanese wanted to bring some of his much loved distance between them. Only when he was not stopping in his walk, did Dino get nervous.  
“Why don't we have a bite to eat inside ?“ He offered. “Italy has some really amazing food, you'll see !“  
Kyoya wasn't even interested enough to tell him that he wasn't interested.  
Dino jogged next to him.  
“Enzo would like some of that salad in the house, too.“ He said light-heartedly, while watching his pet being abducted in slow motion.  
Kyoya blinked.  
“You gave him to me. I'll feed him myself somewhere else.“  
“I'm sorry, carissimo, but that is a tragic misunderstanding.“  
The Japanese stopped, eyes flashing with increasing fury.  
“This turtle is mine now.“  
“I'm afraid I can't let that happen.“ Dino said, reaching for Enzo. Kyoya slapped his hand away with a tonfa.   
Dino was between a rock and a hard place. He neither wanted to hurt Kyoya or Enzo in the process of rescuing his pet, but also did not want to loose Enzo. Letting his whip stay where it was, he tried to reach for his turtle again. This time he tasted tonfa right in the face. To say it was an explosion of taste was an understatement. The Italian ducked under another hit, then lunged forward. The Japanese actually started staggering backwards, but held himself upright in the last second before he could land in the pool behind him. Dino hoped to have a chance now... but Enzo wasn't on the shoulder anymore !   
A horrible thought came to him and just when his eyes darted to the pool did he hear a 'plop' of something small falling into water.  
“ _Oh, mamma...MIA_ !“  
His yell was drowned out in the thundering screech of a house high Enzo, rising from the pool like the title character of Godzilla.  
Kyoya did not understand the situation at all and could only watch in fascination how something so cute became something so deadly.  
“Kyoya !“ Dino tried to get the Japanese's attention. “We need to make him lose water so that he will shrink !“  
The Japanese looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Together they charged at the monster turtle.

  


After Tsuna had accepted that he would never leave the store in his lifetime, the stream of clothes ended. They left the store, each carrying shopping bags. Tsuna feared they were all the clothes he had tried on. From the way his mother was clutching her bags happily, he guessed she had somehow found the time to look for something for herself, too.

_ Good for her. At least one of us had fun. _

Lambo, after much crying, had to leave the mannequins behind. He had tried to hide parts of them in his hair and Tsuna wasn't all too sure that they had gotten everything out of it again. I-Pin had really done her best to keep him in check from what Tsuna had seen the short times he was actually out of the booth. She was proudly carrying a tiny bag.

“What did you get, I-Pin ?“

“Pineapple. For hair !“ She beamed at him. Tsuna guessed maybe a hair clip or a hat in the shape of a pineapple ?

They drove back to the mansion, even though Tsuna could have sworn they would have needed another car just for the bags. 

“Ahhh, wasn't that nice ?“ Lussuria sighed, while throwing open the doors.

“I have to admit, I felt reminded of my teen years.“ Tsuna's mother said, holding a hand to her cheek in a somewhat embarrassed fashion. Lussuria immediately grabbed her hands.

“But, _mamma_ , you are still a young woman !“

“Lussuria-chan, stop it, I'll blush !“

_ 'CHAAAN' ?! When did the chan happen ??! _

“But it's true ! Look, your skin is so much better than mine ! I'm an old hag compared to you !“

The Varia Member seemed to remember something and checked his watch. “Guess we should be good.“ He mumbled. He clapped his hands together.

“All right, my lovely dears, why don't you have a snack in the dining room ?“

“Yes, food, Lambo wants food !“ Lambo squealed and ran ahead, followed by I-Pin.

Just now Tsuna felt the full extent of his hunger.

_ I'm starving ! Taking clothes on and off sure is exhausting ! _

But Lussuria was leading Tsuna away from the rest.

“Tsunayoshi-hime and I will be joining you in a moment !“ He called over his shoulder, while taking Tsuna up the stairs. Tsuna looked around slightly alarmed.

“Where are we going ?“

“I promised you that you would be seeing the other _Decimo_ in the evening, didn't I ?“

Tsuna lost his appetite instantly.

They stopped in front of a normal looking door. Tsuna kind of had expected it to be on fire. Lussuria knocked. After a moment, he opened the door slightly and stuck his head inside.

“What ?!“ Tsuna could hear Xanxus' voice bark from inside.

“We are back from shopping and me and the _principessa_ wanted to show the results.“

Some kind of sound came from Xanxus in return and Lussuria opened the door fully. Tsuna was again surprised to see no upturned tables, broken chairs or anything currently burning. It looked like an actual office; the fancier, older looking kind, though, you sometimes saw in movies, the one full of book shelves. Xanxus was sitting at a desk, focused on papers.

Lussuria slowly walked to the desk and held out his cellphone.

“This is today's haul.“

Xanxus looked up and at the screen. So far, Tsuna had no idea if he knew that he was in the room, too. After a bit, Xanxus nodded.

“The third one is the best.“

“I think so as well.“ Lussuria nodded, full of enthusiasm.

“Uh, which one is the third one ?“ Tsuna asked from his corner by the door.

“The green one with sunglasses.“ Lussuria chirped and Xanxus mumbled, looking at his papers again.

“You see,“ Lussuria explained, “the moss green-“

“-forest.“ Xanxus corrected, still not looking up.

“- the forest green suits you rather nicely.“

Tsuna could vaguely remember putting on something green at some point. Was he supposed to remember the whole outfit now ?!

“I'm glad you like the outfits !“ Lussuria said in Xanxus' direction, while leaving the room and moving Tsuna with him.

Back in the hallway, they went down the same stairs they had come up. 

_ Wait...that was it ? _

_ He has never really looked away from his papers. _

_ But...what am I complaining about ? Less contact means less chances to die ! _

After joining the rest of his family in the dining room for snacks and Tsuna's stomach was less growling, Lussuria had another 'good thing' for them in store. If they had been at home, it would have been one word, hear it was two, 'hot spring'.

“There is a lovely hot spring just by the house ! Why don't you all soak in there and forget about the cares of the world before dinner ? Sounds good ? Yay !“ Lussuria went around the table to high five with everyone in turn. Lambo wanted a second go; his goal was to high five the man's hand so hard it would break. It didn't work and Lussuria only laughed at his enthusiasm for celebration.

Tsuna and the rest parted at different bathrooms. While he was showering, he couldn't help but smile.

_ Finally this day has something good in it ! _

After he was clean, he stepped out of the bathroom onto a terrace where he was told the hot spring would be. 

_ Wooow ! _

From where he stood, he could overlook the mountains and parts of a valley. The green and brown of the mountain was glinting in the colors of the slowly setting sun. In front of him lay the hot spring, as if growing out of the mountain, its stony basin filled with steaming water. And Xanxus. Tsuna's smile froze.

_ So much for something good ! _

_ But I can't waste an  _ onsen _!_

Xanxus was sitting with his back to him.

_ Should I cough or something ? Or will he be mad because I disturbed him ? But what if he becomes mad because I did not make myself known ?! _

So, he did a little cough while getting into the water as quickly as possible. Tsuna was about to look how Xanxus was taking it, when a sight stopped him. Below them, was another stony hot spring basin and another next to that one and below it yet another ! It looked like a waterfall of little _onsen_ ! He leaned forward automatically and discovered his mother, I-Pin, and Lambo a few basins below. They looked tiny.

“Wow...“ The sound just left Tsuna's mouth.

“Now _that_ is a hot spring.“ Xanxus suddenly said, making Tsuna jump and whirl around. If the other one had looked at him, then he had missed it. Instead, Xanxus' eyes ranged over the whole place; the valley, the mountains, Tsuna's family down in the basins. It looked like he was overlooking his kingdom and pride.

_ His  _ PRIDE _?! Wait, this is_ MY _family here, why would he ever care for them ?_

Almost by instinct, his eyes went to the ring on his finger. 

_ That can't be the reason ! This is Xanxus we are talking about ! Also, this marriage isn't even real ! _

_ And anyway, do tigers even have prides ? _

He really didn't know. That rather sounded like...

… _.a_ lion _....this time I am in an_ onsen _with a_ lion _! Why do I keep bathing with big cats !??_

“Please don't eat me !“ Tsuna blurted out, covering his face with his hands. The instant it was out, he wished it wasn't. This time Xanxus _was_ looking at him.

“Huh ?“ He actually looked more confused than annoyed, but the annoyed part of his face was more than enough for Tsuna. He waved his hands frantically. “Nothing !!“ Then he stopped in his motions instantly because he feared to splash water at Xanxus.

Xanxus leaned back again, eyes half closed, but looking over at the other one now and then.

His _marito_ was _un tipo strano_ , a strange fellow.

Dinner would soon be served. One glance at the other one sharing his bath reminded him of the last time his _marito_ had eaten something Italian.

_ The  _ all'arrabbiata  _nearly killed him..._

Tsuna jumped for sure, when Xanxus suddenly started a short cough-laugh. Wearing a grin on his face and his voice filled with amusement, Xanxus growled at him. “You'll better be hungry later.“. This he followed up with another short laugh.

All the water of the hot spring could not stop Tsuna from freezing on the spot.

_ Oh God, he is going to eat me ! He'll fatten me up and then he'll eat me ! I'm tiger-lion food ! _

He vaguely wondered if Xanxus was also going to eat his family as members of his pride or if that went against the tiger-lion codex.

Dino was too busy fighting his temporarily gigantic pet to admire the fact that Kyoya and him were fighting side by side. They fought long and bravely and it took them until the sun was setting to get Enzo to a manageable size. By now, both of them were exhausted and wet to the bone. Dino sensed another chance in that.

“We did enough. Let's go inside and eat. I also should have dry clothes in your size.“

All Kyoya wanted was to go home. But the other person's offer made him think. If he was offering food and clothes so eagerly, wasn't that more than a present ? Was it not rather an offering directed at a superior person ?

“Fine.“ Kyoya said, following inside and accepting this person as his subordinate.

Tsuna was never more relieved to be able to leave an _onsen_ ; that in itself was sad. Also, he had never dreaded getting food more (with the exception of anything Bianchi made); that was also sad.

He would rather do anything else at the moment beside bathe in an _onsen_ or eat huge dinners; do homework, even. He vaguely wondered if this whole marriage thing was all one big ploy of Reborn's to make him like school. Coming back from the _onsen_ , he met his family seated in the dining room. Lambo was clanging with the cutlery, demanding to be fed. When I-Pin tried to stop him with her own cutlery, they started a two-sworded duel. His mother seemed to be daydreaming into the paintings on the wall.

_ At least  _ he _isn't here..._

Tsuna had barely sat down, when Xanxus joined them, taking the seat next to him. 

_ And here my life ends... _

His gloomy thoughts vanished in an instant, when plates and plates (and more plates !) of food were brought in.

_ The whole table is full of plates ! And they are huge !! _

A small feeling of home settled inside of him at the sight. He had always thought that Westerners tended to eat all their food on one plate. Instead, each of them had their own empty plate and many plates to choose from.

_ Never mind that they are HUGE ! _

It suddenly made sense that the houses always were so big. Huge plates needed a huge dining table and THAT needed more space.

_ The only thing missing is rice... _

And then a steaming bowl of rice was placed before him. It looked juicy and there were a few mushrooms in it. His mom was eyeing it, too.

“Oh, what is that, Xanxus ?“ She asked him with a sweet smile.

_ MOOOOM !! You can't just talk to him ! _

“That is _risotto_ , _mamma_. It is rice containing broth, wine, and cheese, and mushrooms.“ Xanxus answered in a voice free of anger and other emotions. Tsuna's jaw almost dropped on the table.

_ He actually  _ answered _?! WAIT- 'MAMMA' ?!!?_

His mother had definitely heard it, too. After thanking Xanxus, she waved excitedly in Tsuna's direction.

“Did you hear that, dear ? Xanxus called me 'mama' in Italian !“

_ I heard, mom, and it's not that different ! Also, why ?! _

His thought never went further, because in that moment his nemesis in food form was placed next to the _risotto._

_ SAUNA PASTA ! _

A humongous pizza was put down in front of Lambo and the child's eyes became almost just as big .

“Is that spicy, Xanxus ?“ Tsuna's mother asked.

“Yes. That is _Pizza Diavola_ or 'devilish Pizza'. The salami and peperoni on it can be quite spicy.”

“Thank you, dear.“ Tsuna's mother beamed at him again, then tried to explain to Lambo that he could have a slice, but needed to be careful. I-Pin was already munching happily on the pizza. Tsuna stared at the food in front of him in horror.

_ Devil pizza and sauna pasta ? No thanks ! _

_ I know I-Pin's stomach is strong from the gyoza, but what if there's something weird in it ? Like the name suggests ?! _

Tsuna tried to reach for the pizza plate with all his might, but couldn't even without Lambo hogging the plate with a mean laugh. Suddenly Xanxus stood up, took the plate and set it down in front of Tsuna. 

_ WHAT just happened ? Okay, now I know that there DEFINITELY is something bad about this pizza if Xanxus wants me to eat it so badly ! Hadn't he said I should be hungry ? He was already looking forward to poisoning me ! _

If possible, Tsuna would have rather taken the slices from Lambo and I-Pin, but both just finished theirs. Tsuna eyed the whole table and wondered if he would have to eat it all to save his family. The fact that the sauna pasta and _risotto_ was placed so close to him seemed suspicious, so he pulled those plates closer to him as well. He noticed Xanxus move again.

“ _Vongole_.” He said and Tsuna thought he was talking about the _famiglia_ , then saw a plate of clams appear to his right. The seafood _looked_ good, but could be poisonous.

_ All the more reason to eat it before my family can ! _

Another plate was pushed towards him by Xanxus; something with melted cheese on top, but that could only hide the spice and poison.

Bravely ignoring how much food was already in front of him and that he would never be able to eat it all without dying, he reached for the _risotto_.

_Gotta start somewhere...wait,_ i _sn't there wine in this one ? What if this makes me drunk ? Then I can't run, when Xanxus feels like killing me ! But rather me than everyone else..._

A look over to his mother showed him how happy she was watching them.

“Just look how he is spoiling you, Tsu-kun ! So cute”

_ The less she suspects, the better...but still, mom, me getting poisoned is not cute ! _

And then he saw it: spaghetti ! The one with the red sauce that wasn't spicy ! What did Yamamoto call them again, Western soba noodles red style ? 

Xanxus must have noticed him reaching for the pasta, because next thing Tsuna knew, the other one had put a big helping of spaghetti on his plate. 

Mumbling a 'thanks', Tsuna took the fork in one hand. Then noticed that there was also a knife and...a spoon ?

_ Maybe it's like with ramen ? You take the spoon to enjoy the broth ? _

Tsuna looked at his plate. The noodles sure weren't dry, but they weren't swimming in sauce either. He shrugged his shoulders. He would find out how to use the spoon with this dish as he went along. Gripping the fork tighter, he started digging into his spaghetti. 

_ They are delicious ! Too bad that they are poisoned ! _

The only thing was that the noodles were longer than he was used to so eating them got harder, too. Then he remembered about the broth spoon. He lay down the fork so he had his other hand free to raise the plate enough for some broth to collect at one side. Triumphantly, he scooped this little bit up with the spoon.

He felt something against his ear.

“ _What_ the _fuck_ are you doing ?!“ Xanxus growled in a very low voice; it was tinged with all the fiery hatred of the sauna pasta and devil pizza combined.

Xanxus had not looked forward to eating dinner. It wasn't about the food, but the fact that there would be other people present. He didn't like having others around while he ate. Eating was enjoyment, something private he didn't want any idiot who happened to be nearby to see. It was also a time of peace; while he didn't mind to swear, this was the one time he tried to refrain from it (this, and whenever his father felt like going to look at churches with him on travels; not for the churches' sake, of course). He looked at his still empty plate. He could pretend he wasn't hungry, then eat it later in his room. Then Xanxus remembered that he had indeed eaten in company, during his honeymo- that time after _that day_. He blew out air through his nose. Maybe, if he just focused on his _marito_ and pretended he was the only one who would see him...

His eyes went to his side. His _marito_ was trying to reach for the _pizza diavola_. He might as well endorse him to eat more Italian food. While the _arrabbiata_ incident had been funny, it had shown Xanxus how deeply lacking his husband also was when it came to the cuisine of the mother country. He was glad his father was preoccupied this evening and so did not witness him playing the good husband for the Japanese. He got the pizza for his _marito_ , the _vongole_ , and the _lasagne_. He started to wonder why the other one did not help himself from the plates. When he saw him eyeing the spaghetti, he guessed he wanted to be served.

_ Was he testing him how far he would go ? Or was he either lazy or stupid or both ? _

_ Well, he had started with the whole good husband thing, he guessed he might as well go through with it. _

Xanxus put a helping of the pasta on his _marito_ 's plate. He was about to serve him from the other plates, when he saw him start eating the spaghetti. With a fork only. It seemed he _could_ use cutlery and while using only one fork was a little unorthodox- why was he raising his plate and what was the spoon supposed to do ? Relishing the sauce is one thing, but scooping it up while the plate is still full ?! That wasn't just _strano_ , that was _stupido_!

Idiota ! Imbecille ! _The head of the most powerful Mafia_ famiglia _can't be seen eating like that !_

_ And he was about to make him swear at the dinner table ! What a bastard ! _

Quickly, he leaned to the side, to growl into the other one's ear. His _marito_ jumped and stared at him wide-eyed.

“Eat your food properly, damn it !“ Xanxus continued in a low voice. Xanxus could see the other one looking more helpless by the second.

“Take up your fork with your spoon to eat ! Is that so hard to understand ?!“.

His _marito_ did as ordered, but still looked as helpless as before; there was an added touch of desperation. Xanxus felt like throwing something against the wall. He had to concentrate hard to keep his voice low as he continued to growl into the other one's ear so as not to draw attention.

“What is the damn problem ?!“. 

The other one shrunk in his chair, hands still gripping the cutlery. “I don't know how ! Sorry !“

Xanxus felt like Mount Vesuvius, only that he was not exploding, but imploding.

_ WAS HE FUCKING KIDDING HIM ?!!??! He's going to become a fucking mafia boss and can't fucking eat fucking spaghetti ??!  _ STRONZO _!_

Before Tsuna could even call for help or run away, Xanxus had leaned over and grabbed him by the underarms. 

_ THIS IS MY END !  _ Tsuna thought, expecting to die in various ways, maybe one after the other: choked by his hands, the pasta or any type of food on the table, or something else entirely.

But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, Xanxus was towering behind him, controlling his arms like a puppet master. The hand that held the fork was moved to a pile of spaghetti, the hand that held the spoon moved under the pile. Xanxus squeezed his fork arm.

“Now turn your hand.“ Xanxus growled into his ear.

Tsuna's head spun. While his family was right next to him, not seeing how he would die any second, Italian food of doom was out there only to torment him and his former sworn enemy turned husband was literally breathing down his neck about moving cutlery in a way he had no idea about. Trying to follow the order, Tsuna turned his hand clock-wise, then the fork dropped. Xanxus instantly squeezed his arm while moving it up and down, causing Tsuna's hand to repeatedly slap the fork.

“No, fuck, no ! Pick up the fork !“ After Tsuna failed another time, Xanxus completely let go off his arms and leaned back. Staring holes into his skull, he pointed to his own plate.

“ _Watch_ me.“ There was more venom in his voice than in the sauna pasta. Xanxus then put some spaghetti on his plate, took up fork and spoon, stabbed a pile of noodles, moved the spoon closer to it, put the fork with the spaghetti on the spoon and started turning the fork on the spoon until the spaghetti that were just a loose pile turned into-

_ -a nest of noodles ! Amazing !  _

Xanxus then held up the noodle nest, again staring holes into him.

“See ?!“

Tsuna had seen and knew exactly that he would _not_ be able to copy him, but nodded anyway, since this was the only possible answer that would keep him and his family (and the world) alive. Xanxus nodded toward his plate. “Do it.“

Tsuna gulped, picked up fork, spoon, and some spaghetti and failed. Xanxus growled only for the two of them to hear, grabbed his arms and took up his position behind him again.

“Fucking disgrace for a _mafioso_...“ Tsuna heard him mumble into his ear. Xanxus moved his arms again. Then, when it came to turning the fork, he let go off his fork arm and grabbed his hand instead, twisting his fingers in a way Tsuna would be surprised if they weren't broken afterwards. To his astonishment, when Xanxus moved his hand away from his own, he held a perfect noodle nest on his fork.

_ I...did it ? _

He heard clapping, then looked up to see his mother beaming at them.

“Tsu-kun, look what a good teacher your husband is !“

_ Once again, mom, you managed to only see the part that looks normal, not the part where I get almost killed ! _

With something bordering on a Dying Will, Tsuna ate his way through the meal.

The fact that the _risotto_ could be eaten with a spoon very much like _omuraisu_ was not enough to help Tsuna over the thought that he was poisoning himself a little more with each bite. He was missing his family already. At least the cheese thing and the sauna pasta could be eaten with a fork only; this still did not make sauna pasta more bearable (but more bearable than cutlery lessons with Xanxus !). The devil pizza was totally cutlery free, but almost as bad as the sauna pasta. When he finally reached the clams, he saw that some were missing and quickly looked at his family in alarm. But the only one with shells on the plate was Xanxus.

_ I guess he has an antidote... _

Tsuna went munching on, too full to be grateful for having to eat less of the clams and also too full to wonder why Xanxus would eat poisonous food.

After somehow surviving all the Italian food that was only out there to get him, Tsuna was overjoyed to finally be in his room and be done for the day. 

_ Because  _ I am _certainly done._

He hadn't had the time to unpack yet and certainly didn't feel like it now, so all he did, was hang up his jacket in the closet. Before closing the door, his eyes fell on something.

“A book ?“ His stomach was so full, picking up anything was a bad idea, so he only read the title and saw that it was a dictionary, Italian to Japanese and the other way round.

“What a coincidence.“ He closed the closet door, never had another thought about the book, got into bed and fell asleep.

Xanxus had first been too angry to eat. Then he had been too angry to mind that other people saw him eat. When everyone was finished, he had used his first chance to leave. A bottle of wine kept him company as he sat by the window in his room, staring out into the night.

_ He didn't even know why he was so surprised, he had known all along that the guy he had been forced to marry was an idiot, so why should he have been any less idiotic when it came to Italian food ?? _

_ What was his deal anyway with eating almost all the food ? Could he be so stupid and think all the plates were meant for him ?! _

As the bottle (and another one) got emptier, Xanxus calmed down somewhat.

It was definitely different eating with so many people; who also happened to be part of the family, not only _famiglia_ , but actual, married-into family.

It certainly had been different to address his mother-in-law.

He didn't remember his mother when he was a child (later he knew it was because he had chosen not to).

It had always only been his father and him...and sometimes Giuseppe, his father's lover (husband or partner would have been more fitting, but also too official, as his father had tried to keep the mafia world away from him; for some reason Xanxus had called him _zio Beppo,_ uncle Beppo, always reserving the _papa_ for his father, _il Nono_ ).

Before he had known about human procreation, he hadn't even questioned not having a mother; one day, he had simply popped up at his father's place (ironically, his simplest thought had been the one closest to the truth). After he had had the talk, he had sometimes wondered which of them had actually born him, his father or Giuseppe. Once around Christmas the thought had come to him that Giuseppe had the same name as Mother Mary's husband and Jesus' father (later on, it had always surprised him that _San Giuseppe_ was called Saint Joseph in other countries). Mary and her child were always celebrated more than her husband, making it even more logical to his childish mind to put his father and himself in this role (even after learning that men could not procreate amongst themselves, he had long cherished this idea of his wondrous birth).

He had not grown up with a mother, had never missed one. But his upbringing had taught him respect towards one's parents, towards one's elders (never mind that they sometimes betrayed and froze you). So, paying his respects to his mother-in-law came much easier to him than respecting her failure of a son, strong as he was.

When Squalo and Yamamoto had arrived at Squalo's place, Yamamoto had barely been given the time to throw in his luggage, before they went out into the surrounding woods to train. Now that they returned, he finally had a chance to take it all in. For lack of better words, Yamamoto would say that Squalo's house looked as if a Japanese person had wanted to build a modern aquarium one could live in. It stood right in the middle of the woods and seemed rather higher than broader, had light gray paint on it and almost all windows were round. It was minimalistic in a very aesthetic way. After just a step inside, Yamamoto had even more evidence for his aquarium comparison: a huge pillar-shaped aquarium ran from the bottom to probably the top of the house. All he could see at first glance was a school of super fast silver-scaled fish, zooming out of sight at his presence. 

His musings must have taken longer than he realized, for Squalo had apparently enough time for an ultra-quick shower and a change of clothes. Once Yamamoto returned from his own shower, he found Squalo on the couch. It was a big couch and he still managed to take up most of its space. Yamamoto caught the can of juice Squalo threw at him and took the remaining space.

“When you are faster, you can drink other, harder stuff, too.“

“I'm 15, Squalo, but thanks.“

The Italian shrugged. “You look at least 16. Also, it's my house, anyway, so who cares ?“ He took a big gulp out of his own can. “You know, I paid this place in cash, too. Didn't even blink when the architect told me the price.“

“It's really nice.“

“Sure is ! I designed it myself !“ Squalo managed to sound offended and proud at the same time.

A moment passed in which they focused on emptying their cans. Yamamoto looked at Squalo out of the corner of his eyes. After only ever seeing the Italian in his Varia outfit, the loose black pants and gray low neck long sleeve shirt were a definitive change. But Yamamoto had to say that it suited him. He definitely looked more relaxed than he had ever seen him. Literally at home. _Especially_ when the older one wore the sleeves up to the middle of his palms, as if he either wanted to cushion his drink or safe his hands from getting burned or frozen. The younger Japanese almost couldn't stop looking at this little detail. So much so, that he almost forgot about another thought of his, the question of how Squalo was faring with his left arm when a sword _wasn't_ tied to it. Yamamoto had wondered if the sword would be replaced by a dagger or something else lethal. The stump was barely visible, owing to the sleeve and partially also the color of the shirt. Dino had told him what had happened and so Yamamoto knew it wasn't a fresh wound. Even though Squalo had injured himself intentionally, mindful about the consequences, he still hoped the wound didn't hurt him too much.) Since hearing the story, he had pondered it, yet still had no idea how he would feel about scars or injuries that would help him play baseball better. The thought of hurting himself for his sport scared him, but not as much as he would have thought. He couldn't help but to also be fascinated. This didn't make Squalo his personal boogey man or hero. He still remained Squalo, a mortal person, to him. But he felt himself being drawn to the swordsman.

“I'm glad that your wounds are all healed up.“ He said eventually. Squalo eyed him icily.

“Of course I'm fully healed ! No one heals faster than I do !“ His eyes turned to glaciers as they narrowed down on him. “Are you saying I could have been faster during our training session today but wasn't ?!“ The Japanese shook his head, laughing. “No, not at all. I rather feel like _I_ have been in the hospital for the last weeks when I compare our reflexes.“ Squalo looked pleased at that answer and took another gulp. 

“Do you even know how lucky you are that _I am_ using my time training you ?“ He brought up what he had told him several times that day. “I wouldn't do that for the other scumbags.“

Yamamoto chuckled. “So I'm not a scumbag ?“

“No, you are an idiot.“

The younger Japanese only laughed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the aquarium behind Squalo; he could have sworn he had seen the slit eyes of a shark.

When Squalo eventually showed him to the guest room upstairs, the staircase led them along the aquarium and Yamamoto was sure that this time he had seen a fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact:  
> originally, Xanxus was supposed to be the bride, but then I thought long and hard about it.
> 
> Have another fun fact:  
> The title of the fanfic was actually inspired by the title of episode 200 "Sky full of desire" - there you have it, it's already in the anime


End file.
